Great Western Coffee Shop

I were never much good at english at skool, so nows Im catching up.  And there are some silly signs around


Ouch!  There's a rule I've broken.  I'm on my way to Manchester and the earliest opportunity I had ... was on the FGW site offering me a price of 80 pounds single.  So I went to the ATW site and got the same journey for 27 pounds.   Looks like I was naughty and they expected me to pay the 80 quid because that was the first site I found.  ;D


There's a naughty person opposite me with an iPad plugged in  :-\


What examples do you have ... can you be more of a pedant than me??

Seen on the doors to First Class on turbos...(hopefully nearly accurate, though the context is right if nothing else) "If you chose to travel in this area, you will be asked to pay for a First Class ticket"

My problems is with the word "will"... firstly IF tickets are every checked they just move people on, secondly, they never really check tickets in my experience..

Seems a bit unreasonable if you've already paid for one before you got on the train too  :D

This door must be kept shut at all times... Which is just wonderful if you wish to gain entry to the facility behind ;)

Coaches A and G are Mobile Free Zones... Oops I just walked from H to F to get a cup of coffee with my mobile in my back pocket ;)

There is the old favourite "Dogs must be carried on the escalator". Tricky if you don't have a dog.

This door is alarmed. Why?  Who scared it?

Ha ha....

Away from the railway, the car park by Bristol Oncology Centre has a sign which tells you that "Thieves operate in this area". What the surgeons think of this is not clear.

Liverpool FC were not doing well at the start of the season. At Liverpool John Lennon Airport stands a statue of the eponymous late Beatle, bearing the legend "Above us only sky". Some shining wit had added "Below us only Wolverhampton Wanderers and Wigan Athletic."

Also tricky if you do have a very large dog who doesn't like being carried ...  ::)

"Automatic door: push button to open."

First Class Lounge is located on the upper concourse.

Sign on the door: First Class Lounge is for Virgin Trains Ticket Holders Only...

Going off topic. I was mildly p1$$ed off that they allowed entry with a Manchester Piccadilly - Stockport FDS @ ^1.90 but turned away a Manchester Piccadilly - Warrington Central FDS @ ^6.20

 >:( :-X

me...lol

"Please offer this seat to a disabled person" ... I looked around, but couldn't find one :P

"Baby changing facility located in the disabled toilet"

So you can go and swap your baby in a toilet which is not able bodied?

No Smoking

*lights up an Electric Cigarette*

Personally, I don't smoke... But I've seen people smoke eCiggys on Trains, Planes and even on the Bus ::)

Just don't do it on a Megabus with suspicious fellow passengers...... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-18728303

No need to roll your eyes TT.  ;)

I've just switched to an electronic nicotine delivery system. So far so good. I've not yet powered up on public transport but if the urge for a fix becomes too great on a journey, I may well. If I'm asked to stop I will.

I saw someone with one of these for the frst time the other week.  We were travelling from Exeter Central to Honiton.  Whether he felt self conscious or not I don't know but the furtive way he was 'smoking' it invited attention and some raised eyebrows from people sitting further away than I was and probably couldn't see that it wasn't the real thing.

Good luck BNM  ;)

A workmate has one of these electronic fags, which he leaves in the fan intake of his PC when not in use, so it glows. I don't know why. I went "cold turkey" on 12 May 1991, after over 20 years of enslavement, and haven't smoked since.

Good luck with your effort, BNM. Two weeks after you kick the habit, you'll wonder what you ever saw in it in the first place.

Happily puffed away on the 2027 ex Reading this evening. Conscious that using a leccy fag might upset my fellow travellers so I decided to take my nicotine fix in the vestibule. Train Manager passed by (more concerned about Coach C being in total darkness) and he asked me whether the 'hit' was as good as a Benny Hedges.

"All Trains go to Hammersmith"

Not railway related, but on an instruction leaflet I saw at work today:
"Do not eat or drink after handling"

So I'm now never allowed to eat or drink again? ::)

"Preparing" on the board at Paddington when the train hadn't even arrived yet. Unless preparing means bringing the train into the station  ::)

My pedantic pet hate is guards using the solecism "arriving into" when making announcements. What's wrong with "arriving at" or "arriving in"?

And don't get me started on the increasingly common use of 'Train Station' instead of 'Railway Station'.

On a similar note I don't like announcements that say "Arriving at final destination" - to me a train has one destination, the other stops are just calling points.

Away from the railways for a moment...

The voiceover at the start Star Trek annoys me. First you have Kirk/Picard talking about a final frontier. If you have a frontier, then there is something beyond it. Once it is crossed some other point becomes the frontier. So a frontier can't ever be final.

Then there's the the split infinitive 'to boldly go'.

Nothing wrong with that. I like to boldly split infinitives all the time. But no-one has yet asked the great question of history - who started this Pedants' Revolt?

My money is on Which Tyler.

'My money is on Which Tyler.'

Wat's that you said?

 ;D Touch^!

"Door must be kept locked shut"

So that will be a wall then :D

Might need a tiler. Now, what Tiler?

Indeed.  Sometimes, it's an even more emphatic "This door must be kept locked at all times."  That's not a door.  ::)

"Please use the full length of the platform when boarding the train"... I didn't even try  ::) ::)

"Please stand clear of the platform edge, the approaching train is not scheduled to stop at this station"  Oh dear I am standing next to a bay platform....

"Please stand clear of the platform edge, the approaching train is not scheduled to stop at this station"

Well the train was on time but the announcement was running late... The train went past 2 minutes ago.. ::) ;D

You've been to Crowthorne then!

To be fair it is on before train comes through :P Just stays up a while!

"This page is intentionally left blank".

No it isn't, someone has written "This page is intentionally left blank" on it.

That's a good one, Jo!  ;D

What's more, they did it intentionally.  ;D

"Please Stand behind the yellow line"

1. So it's ok to walk in front of it then?
and...
2. How on earth do I get on the train which is the other side of the line

Ah ... perhaps that's why you need to 'use the full length of the platform when boarding the train' - to make an Olympic long jump onto it?  ::) ;D

On the stairs to platforms at Bristol Temple Meads:

"Keep to the left & hold the handrails!"

Each staircase has three handrails. How do you hold them all?

See also http://railwayeye.blogspot.co.uk/2010/09/pointless-signs-bristol-temple-meads.html  ;) :D ;D

"Please make sure you take all your personal belongings with you when leaving the train"...

I'm not sure I can get all my possessions onto the train in the first place... ::) ::)

"The train now standing on Platform 6 is the..."

Luckily I left the station just moments before... ;D

Not really pedantry, but this combination of signs made me laugh:

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/c66.0.403.403/p403x403/19401_10151267656884472_975746160_n.jpg)
 ;D

"The train will shortly be arriving at Maidenhead"... an announcement on the 7.48 from Paddington tonight just as we, I think, passed through Slough... Because we were running a bit late and it was quite dark outside (I am guessing we've hit the no moon at all stage) no one was sure quite where we were and all got up ready to get off.. At least everyone was ready to get off the train when we finally did arrive at Maidenhead... ::)

Must of been cloudy ... Full moon was three days ago.   ;D

A pedant alert in the pedant alert topic:

'Must have' not 'Must of'. Tsk tsk.  :P ;) ;D

Well that explains a few things then.. Mind you I can usually work out when it's a full moon by other people's behaviour (but somehow didn't notice it on Monday)... Maybe the person making the announcement on my train was suffering the "full moon" after effects then  ;D

Well spotted  ;D

At Marble Arch station this morning (and every morning):

"Thank you for travelling with London Underground, we hope you had a pleasant journey"

If being pushed around on the escalator, having to wait for the third train because it is too busy, almost getting stuck in the doors, smelling the odour of the person I was squashed against and having my private parts rubbed by the folds of the obese person crammed in next to me, then yes, I did have a pleasant journey.

And after leaving Embankment, whilst still in a tunnel (my bold):

"The next station is Charing Cross.  Change here for the Northern Line and National Rail services.  Exit here for the National Gallery and National Portrait Gallery."

I'll just jump from the moving train into the tunnel then. ::)

"This Carriage is air conditioned".. Made me laugh.. a lot...

I forget exactly where I saw this but on a station in the north which had a footbridge at the end of the platform there was sign, right next to the footbridge, which said:

"Passengers must not cross the lines."

Also, wherever I see that sign, I think of the response, "It takes hours to untangle them."

 ;D

From Southern on Twitter tonight

"17:32 Uckfield to London Bridge This train will be formed of 4 coaches instead of 6 This is due to speed restrictions"

::)

Speed restrictions apply from when the front coach enters the beginning of a restricted section of track to when the rear coach leaves it.  As the whole of a train goes at the same speed, this means that the average speed of a long train is going to be lower than the average speed of a short train driven to the limit of the line, with equal power per coach, and ignoring factors like wind resistance.

There's at least one system around now which suggests acceleration curves / notches to drivers so that they make best use of energy and arrive at the time they're supposed to, rather than burning lots of power, arriving early and having to sit around and wait.   And watching demonstrations / replays, it's fascinating to look at the way a 4 coach train v a 12 coach train differ on the approached to and exits from a speed limited section.

Here is a very old one.

"Please do not put anything other than toilet tissue down this toilet, as it blocks the drains and often requires manual removal of offending articles by one of us!!!"

Well that makes the whole toilet completely pointless then doesn't it... :o

Incidentally I saw a sign like this in an Autism Centre. Autistic people are known to take things far too literally... Needless to say, the sign wasn't around for very long and was heavily modified when it reappeared... :o ;D :D

Not sure what to say about this one really? ;D

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/374511_4727843549971_2006749646_n.jpg)

*edit* Resized picture to remove excess white-space from App Screenshot. tt

From the Railway Byelaws:

"No person shall spit on the railway"

So I committed an offence by disposing of phlegm in the train toilet's sink?

That's an interesting one - bearing in mind that anyone using an on-board toilet on a train without retention tanks is effectively, err, s*itting on the railway.   ::)

Even the toilet itself comes under the definition of "the railway".

My favorite is this one:

6.7: No person shall drop litter or leave waste on the railway.

Except most stations don't have bins or they are not easily found...

Also:

6.1: No person shall use any threatening, abusive, obscene or offensive language
on the railway

Well we've all seen the fruity language on BBC: The Railway

Finally:

7.1.ii: use any instrument, article or equipment for the production or
reproduction of sound.

Bye bye headphones... :( >:( :-X Infact... I wonder if that rule can be applied to passengers 'talking' as the article would be the human voicebox... ;D

In which case Byelaw 6.4 is most appropriate :o

6.4: No person shall soil any part of the railway.

Followed closely by the latter part of: 6.7: No person shall drop litter or leave waste on the railway.

As a rather appalling pun/bad taste joke... If a curry was the previous days order of the day... Maybe 6.8 could also be relevant... ;D :o ::) :P 6.8: No person shall molest or wilfully interfere with the comfort or convenience of any person on the railway.

Did I mention that I was warned in The southern Patchway tunnel by a PW Inspector, while we reclined back in the refuges, to 'close your eyes and mouth when the South Wales passes us'?   ;)

Here are few interesting signs I have seen all taken in the past few days... ;D :o

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/534103_4845724136912_1035040456_n.jpg)

Well if it's an emergency perhaps it might be prudent NOT to keep away from the handle!!! (First Bus' sign on emergency exits is written much better)

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/483420_4845724336917_1162710849_n.jpg)

Don't press the button? How to I get the lift to come to this floor then??

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/579663_4853876500716_1384509037_n.jpg)

Rather interesting admission if you look at it with the view that maybe the writer of said sign wasn't sure whether the system would work or not... ;D :D :-X

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/539199_4845724656925_1682494510_n.jpg)

Not really a Pedant one this picture. But the route on this First Advance was LONDONREADING... Except the train ran via Oxford and Banbury. Oxymoron I know being in the Pedants thread... I know there was a routing guide easement in place!! ;D Still slightly amusing that I was sold a ticket and reservation for a train that without such easements, would technically be valid under contractual points of NRCoC but would be more than frowned upon I suspect... ;D

That last example will get me going again on the thread about booking  - not being able to book more than three months in advance - a ludicrous restriction, with a illogical explanation, IMO (and no H in the middle   :( ).  But I'll pursue it on the original thread.   :D

... which is in Fares fair  - How to cut the cost of your rail tickets: Guardian video article

Also interesting to note that there is no guidance as to what 'staff' should do if the 'new door system' doesn't work as described ...  ::) :o ;D

Not on the railway but at a hotel nearby

(http://www.wellho.net/pix/5po.jpg)

"I waited 30 minutes for 4 more more people to join me in the lift and then missed my train. Is my advanced ticket valid on the next train in this circumstance?  ;D ;D"

There are so many 'pedant' moments in this Virgin Trains advert it's quite amusing. The young lass was shown looking at the departure boards in London Euston*, Leaves from Glasgow Central and arrives having traveled Standard Class for the whole journey yet alighting from a First Class carriage at Manchester Piccadilly :o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlKay88Ruc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSlKay88Ruc)

*edit*

* Might have got that wrong... It might be Glasgow Central in the Departure Boards shot too. Not quite sure.

Also I like the look of the lads face at the end... Probably when she told him how much he was going to get it.................... On his bank statement of course ;D :P

Hmmm Ok I'll get my coat... ;D

Seen at King's Cross. A Triffid perhaps? If so then it shoud say, 'BE SCARED' rather than 'BE PATIENT'.

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/plant_zps1af6ca2e.jpg)

In Windsor Great Park earlier.. "Warning.. Cross Roads Ahead"... "Why are the roads cross?" I said to my friend.. In my defence we were 12 odd miles into an 18 mile walk and most things by then were incredibly funny..

Another Windsor Great Park one.. "Please respect the mown grass verges".. Which made us wonder

1) how do you respect a grass verge
2) is it ok to not "respect" it if it's not been mown?

One that should appeal to pedants of any age, race, or sexual orientation, from a sign on the exit door of my local Sainsbury:

(http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/Boyamijealous_7108a707/Sainsbury_zps0f56c397.jpg) (http://s1082.photobucket.com/user/Boyamijealous/media/Sainsbury_zps0f56c397.jpg.html)

When the alarm went, I telephoned Bernard, from accounts, but he said it was between me and the security guard at Sainsbury...

Who do students, the retired or those not in work contact?

That's an interesting sign of the times, in a manner of speaking: 'members of staff' at Sainsbury or Tesco stores are 'colleagues'; at John Lewis and Waitrose they are 'partners'.  :-X ;)

So, a similar sign in Waitrose may well say, "Please contact a partner" then?

Your significant other? A business partner? Your Bridge partner? Your Latin/Ballroom partner?  :P ;) ;D

It says "a" colleague rather than your colleague. So it's an instruction to contact any person who's employed by a company with at least two members of staff.

Remember, John Lewis and it's associated Waitrose are literally and probably legally 'partnerships', so all who work in them are partners who share ownership of the business. I agree though that it is possible to misconstrue this - as I am want to do for a smile.

Today a sign outside a Reading shop read, "Everything Must Go".  There was no caveat that a purchase was expected.

(I am not writing this from a police cell  :D)

I like the way Sainsbury's head the sign "Customer Information".  So if you're a shoplifter, and therefore not a customer, there is no need to contact a colleague.

The one that really throws me is Ikea, where staff are 'coworkers'. Leaving aside the fact that they are not MY co-workers, I read this modishly unpunctuated word as 'cow orkers' and I find myself wondering just how one might go about orking a cow. Is it even legal?

In IKEA Eastville, which I visited once (never again) they force you to walk around the entire shop, every floor, in order to get out of the dump.  We asked an attendant what on earth would happen if there was a fire.

She replied with what was clearly a prepared and rehearsed speech (spooky or what?).

"Me and my co-workers are trained to enable exit of all customers within 3 minutes of an alarm".

I looked at her in astonishment.  'Pardon?' I stuttered.

"Me and my co-workers are trained to enable exit of all customers within 3 minutes of an alarm" she repeated.

'But what if there was a fog of fumes and....'

I won't write out what followed, I think you can guess.

Disregarding the poor grammar, this is organised Bedlam.  We eventually got out via the canteen and with help of a rebel 'co-worker' who unlocked a back door for us, although we ended up in a ghastly undercroft of the car park.

To think I once stood on those terraces and sang 'Good Night Irene;  (sob). >:(

You too RS?

Hmm. I know someone who may be able to explain horse daubing, if that is the same sort of thing. I have other things on my mind though, having withdrawn to my country abode in Devon for a few days. My attention was drawn to a sign outside a farm "Free Range Eggs". What a con - the farmer wanted ^2 a dozen, and the so-called Range Eggs look just like normal ones.

Back in shops, there is a phrase uttered by assistants that irks me greatly, mainly because it is used when said assistant has something more interesting to do that serve you:-

"I'll be with you now, Sir".

Makes no sense at all. "I am with you now", "I will be with you soon", "I was with you then", even "Sod off, I'm ignoring you" all display logic. "I'll be with you now" - pah!

 ;D :D ;)

Thanks for that, a good old hoot of genuine LOL is just the ticket after a long day  :)

I wrote 'spooky' but RS and I really crossed with our posts.  It came up 'someone else has posted etc' but I thought 'they cannot possibly be on the same subject'.

Spooky indeed!

Many years ago, when my children were in fact children, they saw  a newspaper headline in the hoarding outside the newsagent, courtesy of that day's Evening Post:-

"Bishop in sex quiz quits"

My pedant side immediately kicked in, and before long we could see a scenario whereby Bamber Gascoigne or Magnus Magnusson would be asking the questions:-

BG or MM: "For five points, my Lord Bishop, and the chance to win a teapot, what is the correct name for the spherical parts of the male genitalia?"

Right Reverend Bishop: "That's it, I've had enough. I'm off".

As tomorrow is a TGIF (in abbs grahamE?) perhaps we could have a competition for 'most asinine moment while travelling anecdote competition'.  It could be a joke against oneself of course.  I have plenty of those.

I was saving up my 'Milan Central arrest on my honeymoon' story for a later date but perhaps I can think of others to go on with. :D

The one that really gets me is when me and my (female) partner walk into a shop and an assistant pounces with a cheery "Can I help you guys?"  On one occasion it was met with the quick riposte "You should have gone to Specsavers" followed by a 180 degree turn and a swift exit.

"Can I have your name please?"

"But what will I use then?"

This may not be pedantic but still...A couple of years ago now, whilst looking at some American news web sites I found the following headline "Missing Child found in sandwich"

I was quite shocked by this until I read the article to find out that Sandwich was the name of a place...

There's a certain town or village in Austria that has a rather... well... interesting and fruity name.

If I told you it's a 7 letter word and starts with an 'F' you'll get the idea...

(That's me banned permenantly now!!)

An excellent idea for a new thread - I'm delighted at your bravery to start it for us.

TGIFs is, of course, a rather enjoyable restaurant chain - http://www.tgifridays.co.uk/ - and I'm guessing that you're referring to the "F" as being Friday.   However (Grrr!! once again) as there's no definition of the acronymn at first use, the new reader is likely to be left making that guess - or perhaps coming with some alternative.  Please clarify, swrural!

Anyway - as today is POETS day (P*ss off early, tomorrow's Saturday), I had better get going on my day so that I can get in my full set of tasks that need to be completed ...

Sorry to break step, but I have never managed to shake off my father's indoctrination with regard to the Beautiful Game. In his opinion, the spectacle of 22 grown men chasing a bladder of wind (whatever colour their shirts) was completely unedifying. So I'm afraid I saw the coming of Ikea as an improvement; indeed myself, Mrs Squirrel and our litter were there just last evening and were very happy to see that meatballs were back on the menu after a short mysterious absence.

On the plus side, Dad did pass on some of his enthusiasm for the One True Way - I won't bore you with the details, but it involved copper safety valve covers, adapted Stephenson Link valve gear, and chocolate and cream.

While on the subject of pedantry, I once referred to the smoke coming out of an engine. Dad replied: "That's not smoke, it's steam; Great western engines burn proper Welsh steam coal and they don't make smoke". A few weeks later I referred to the steam coming out of another engine; he replied "That's not steam, it's water vapour. You can't see steam - it's invisible." I don't think I ever won an argument with him. He's up there with Hitch and Russell now, having a cup of tea from the enormous orbiting teapot.

Well, we had the discussion on the aeroplane designer Fokker some time ago where I pointed out the etymological connection.

I thought everyone knew what TGIF is.    What about TUC?  I suppose it could be a biscuit.   ;D

TGIF - Tactical Ground Intercept Facility
TUC - Technical University of Crete

Oh I thought it was my breakfast....

(http://www.mbob.co.uk/rforum/tuc.jpg)

In the meantime, I have followed the instructions on my new stick deodorant to the letter:

"1) Remove cap
 2) Push up bottom"

Now, my head is getting cold, and I can't sit down properly. And my armpits still smell.

The sign on the short term bays at Trowbridge Station says "Parking for 20 minutes only".   I had finished my railway business in 5 minutes, but then had to wait another 15 before I could leave  ;D

The South West Trains PIS tells me...

"If you are going to Liss and Liphook you will need to be in the front 8 coaches"

Liss AND Liphook.  Is the train magically shorter if you're going to both stations?

Only if you're travelling via Hogwarts during term time, probably.  ;)

I recall the days of IKEA when it was a walk in 'one direction' only... Of course thetrout does not conform to such ridiculous behaviour when wanted to get back out again. I once had a comment from a rather snobby lady who stated to me, rather than said: "Why can't you just walk in the same direction like everyone else?" My response: "Well I'm not everyone else am I... How can I be everyone else when there is just one of me?"

---

In one of the buildings I was in earlier this morning, I asked one of the staff members there for a shower key, which was duly given. However no-one informed security ::) So I was questioned as to how I got into the shower on the way out. Apparently "The same way I got in... Through the doorway" was not an acceptable answer. Literal Autistic thinking bites me in the backside every time... :o ;D ;)

"Service update from the control room here at Bond Street.  The Jubilee Line currently has minor delays between Stanmore and Stratford.  Good service on the rest of the line.  Good service on all other underground lines and the DLR."

I'd recommend looking at a tube map if you don't appreciate this.

No delays between Charing Cross and Green Park then  :D

That's all of the Jubilee line then ;D

At a certain station in Somerset:

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/100_2002_zpsab7caf69.jpg)

Can anyone explain why the platform number needs parentheses?

Oh, and shouldn't that irregular plural possessive have an apostrophe?

No, and Yes.  ::)

Not having a punt as to the location, Chris?  :P

Ssssssssssssssh! Don't make it obvious ;D

As I posted previously: 'No, and Yes.'  ;) :D ;D

I question the lack of plural on Gents Toilet(s), how many toilets are there at this particular station in Somerset?

That depends on how you look at it.

In terms of rooms containing Gentlemens Toilets for use by Passengers... 2

But number of gentlemens passenger toilets from memory = 3 Cubicals, 3 Porcelain Urinals and 1 Trough Urinal...

/Don't like being able to remember that! >:(

Harrumph! Given the topic, I feel the need to point out that:

1. We seem to repeating the unforgiveable omission of the possessive apostrophe;
2. Isn't it 'cubicle?'.

Eek! Let's hope no-one spots the edit...

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/100_2405_zps78f5eca7.jpg)

Bottom right hand corner. How am I supposed to read the instructions if I can't remove the leaflet?

Similar to the sign on the Disabled Loo at Bristol Temple Meads on Platform 3!

"This door must remain shut at all times"

Pity... I couldn't find an open window or ventilation grill!

Regularly announced from the buffet on FGW HSTs:

".... and a fully licensed bar."

When it is anything but. No license is required to sell alcohol on trains.

Deliberately ignored this sign at the exit of a Local Pub! Why on earth would I leave my cell phone behind on the way out?!!

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/1011841_10200270675305478_2072949188_n.jpg)

And with the above if I wanted to be truly pedantic. I complied fully with the sign, as I wasn't carrying a Mobile Phone

Mobile Phones are Cordless DECT phones for the PSTN (Public switching telephone network) network (BT / Virgin Media lines)

Cell Phones connect to Cell Towers, hence the name Cellphone. However a lot of people think this is the American name. Whilst it is heard alot more in America, Cellphone is the correct term AIUI.

Another, similar misconception is the term Broadband. This is associated with high speed Internet when the definition is anything but. Broadband is the frequency in which the High Speed Internet Access is delivered down a BT style telephone line, which is much higher than the frequency used for a telephone call. The reason you have a filter on these lines is because the two can interfere with each other.

The correct term for this technology depends on the service you have, as there are different options. But you are mostly likely going to be using: ADSL (Asymmetric Digital Subscriber Line) however more recently there is VDSL (Very-high-bit-rate Digital Subscriber Line) commonly known as BT Infinity or Openreach Fibre.

'Correct' can be a moot point, but the British English term for a portable telephone which connects to the cellular network is 'mobile phone' (see http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/mobile-phone?q=mobile+phone). All the major UK networks use the term 'mobile', including O2 (which came closest to the US terminolgy in its previous incarnation as CellNet).

Personally I have never before heard anyone refer to a cordless phone as a 'mobile phone' either, though I would have to agree that they can be hard to tell apart sometimes.

Anyone remember the booby prize on one of Dave Lee Travis's Radio 1 phone-in quizzes?

A phoneless cord.

i.e. a length of string.  :D

Ah, DLT - best remembered for his graceful resignation speech from Radio 1. Now when I hear his name I tend to think of a sandwich.

Completely unprized, my then girlfriend, now wife, and I were regular contributors to the "Double Worder" spot in the late 1970s. I'm expecting a visit from the boys in blue...

Spotted on a former station hotel today: "All customers are requested to smoke at the rear of the building".

Which I must confess put me off going in rather, as I gave up smoking years ago and have no wish to go somewhere that makes it compulsory.

Not overally railway related. Although quite near to St Phillips Marsh Railway Depot in Bristol. This one really hurts my head.

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/1176186_10200669201348380_94041889_n.jpg)

20:46 Bath Spa - London Paddington this Saturday:

TM announcement: "We were delayed due to a late arrival into Weston-Super-Mare, Then further delayed by a late running service between Bristol Temple Meads and Bath Spa"

That'll be the same train we're all sat on then... 2O98 was the 20:49 Bristol Temple Meads - Weymouth Service which was running in front and was also on time.... ;D

At Paisley Gilmour Street: "Ticket barrier checks are in operation".  No-one checked my ticket.  Should say "may be in operation".

Why? A check can be operating and still not check 100% of tickets.

More to the point (at least in this thread) were the barriers checked?

Does Paisley Gilmour Street even have barriers?

Perhaps they were checking to see if it had  ;D

No barriers at Paisley Gilmour Street and no staff checking tickets.  I think grahame has read the sign perfectly ;)

Since the Pedant Alert is on:

To a standards writer may means it is permitted so that would say Ticket barrier checks are permitted to be in operation.

The appropriate word is perhaps could which is merely a statement that something is possible.  Though of course without the existence of a ticket barrier this may not be true either. 

Ah yes; hence this short conversation which may (sic) be overheard occasionally in the Squirrel household:

Junior Squirrel: Dad, can I watch TV please?
RS: You can, but you may not.

Cross Country - who to call if you can't get on line from a train ... (I'm on the Glasgow to Plymouth again):


I can imagine that many people in this situation will have their land line with them

Near the end of the carriage there is a sign which says


Where should I place my small and heavy bag? Perhaps on the seat beside me?

Equally, where does the large and light luggage go?

From the National Rail Enquires website page for Blackhorse Road Station.
(http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/3919/gndk.png)

How can I top-up my Oyster card at the ticket machine if it doesn't have one.....?

(It does in fact have three LUL ticket machines, which can sell a selection of National Rail tickets)

There's a similar nonsense with the National Rail Enquiries page for Nailsea & Backwell Station (http://www.nationalrail.co.uk/stations/NLS/details.html):


 ::)

There are in fact two Ticket Vending Machines, at the foot of the steps up to platform 2 at Nailsea & Backwell - both will accept payment by card only (no cash!) and will issue pre-purchased tickets.  ;)

A Mobility Shop in Frome Town Centre... Known to sell the in some cases infamous Mobility Scooter... Spot the massive flaw in the operation of this store... >:( :o :-X

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-e_GLCJLk1MA/UnGAhvBjF8I/AAAAAAAAARs/eASXDDB2tEY/w329-h585-no/20131030_215559.jpg)

They need to take steps to deal with this.  :D

I'm rather inclined to agree. It is a bit of a stumbling block, apparently. ::)

At least they've painted the step white. Although that may be of little use to someone wishing to enter the shop to purchase the cane on display in the window.

Although, to be fair, the shop is closed in that picture.  It may be that they have a suitable ramp to facilitate disabled access which is placed against that step whenever the shop is open.  :-\

For the ultimate pedant:
'Do not board the train until stationary'

Ok, I'm standing still, can someone tell me how I actually get on the train?  ::)

You're clearly a professional pedant - welcome to the club!     Thank goodness we have this thread running in the "lighter side" as it allows us to vent our thoughts without irritating the living daylights out of the people who have written these signs with the best of intent and, let's face it, the signs do usually get the message across!

I particularly liked (yesterday, Oxford) the attached signs on the public toilets.  The invitation to phone a number to report ANY problems is an interesting one - I wonder if they could help me debug a FileMaker connection issue on our server.  And  it seems a bit churlish to reject all "behaviour relating to drinking" at a public toilet - I thought that one of the primary function was to provide a facility in which one could urinate, a behaviour that certainly relates to drinking!

"All Behaviour Relating... To Drugs is prohibited"

So, somewhere quiet and private to self administer diabetes treatment is not allowed?

You read my mind exactly...!

I also like the National Rail Conditions of Carriage. Which state that you "Must not soil any part of the railway" ... Except what happens when you flush a toilet on an HST... :-[ :o :D

This one's for bus travellers really;

'Hope very tight please!'

Really - I hardly know you.....  ;)

Anyone else online old enough to remember bus conductors?

At a car park in Reading today. "Please use all lanes to exit" just before the exit.. I only had one car so only managed one lane this time.. :P ::)

Myself perhaps not... But I have seen them on the Luton Airport - Luton Airport Parkway bus services as recently as 2 years ago ;-)

I was shouted at by a "Boris Bus" conductor a few weeks ago for alighting at a "non-authorised alighting point", as she called it (i.e. the traffic lights outside Charing Cross station).

What's the point in having an open platform if you have to wait until a bus stop and wait for the other doors to open before being allowed off?  Also, what does the conductor actually do on these buses, other than shout at people?  You have to use the front door if paying cash and most people use Oyster cards anyway.  As for the actual Routemasters (on routes 9H and 15H), the conductor actually does do something as he/she comes round with a handheld Oyster validator that looks like an unnecessarily large device resembling something you'd expect to see in a museum.

You'll find conductors on Blackpool's trams. Most of them look like the driver's teenage sons, but they do a good job.

I can remember 'clippies' on the buses in Taunton when I was a child. Late 70s, early 80s.

One in particular used to give me sweets when I was on the 271 from Wellsprings with my Grandma.

Grandma would oft tell the story of when she was flattered by a clippie who thought I was her son, rather than grandson. That is until a 6 year old bignosemac piped up, saying, quite indignantly, "That's not my Mummy, that's my Grandma."

Often heard at the end of presented TV programmes:

"See you at the same time tomorrow", or "Don't forget to tune in at the same time next week".

If you do either of those then the programme will be over.

Even better when they say it at the end of a radio programme.  ;D

My Oldhamer grandma, when asked my age by a conductor, said "He'll be five in September", so avoiding a fare. After he had gone, I pointed out that I was five in March, this being about June. "But you'll be five in September", said my sainted Grandma, who could never tell a lie.

Not sure whether this is pedantry, or more worthy of a general rant about the oft lack of information provided for bus services.

Many bus stops near my home have recently been jazzed up and now include 'live running' information displays. Very welcome that is, but sometimes the transponders fail, or the location can't cope with an infrequent service, so one has to fall back on the information provided by timetable posters....

This is what was available to me at a bus stop in Shirehampton this evening:

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/Buscis_zpsf8d9b61c.jpg)

Okay. Lets look at the timetables:

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/Bustt_zps5cfb40f9.jpg)

 ::)

Predict what? The future, football results, the result of the next general election or perhaps whether we will see a white Christmas.

Predicting when the next bus is going to turn up might be a good start.

Same thing happened in Clifton last week BNM. At the stop just outside the Clifton Shopping Centre.

A followup to my mobility post... This is the shop when it's open ::)

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-b-pVq877g5s/UnzLkwcADII/AAAAAAAAAhw/tJxhcdttfLk/w385-h684-no/20131108_113105.jpg)

And another one I came across in Frome... How can you gain assistance from a member of staff if you cannot get into the building in the bluddy first place?!?! ::) :O >:( :D

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-dk8t1YLMNtg/UoEgv-aJxyI/AAAAAAAAAk8/Wgu4CHvVLhY/w385-h684-no/20131111_182348.jpg)

You could have a hissy fit about the number of 's's in "assisstance", for a sstart.  ::)

LOL!! I didn't even spot that... Good find ;D Makes it even worse though.............. :-\

This one is courtesy of Stansted Airport and Ryanair.

Boarding pass says gate closes at 08:40.  Board in departure lounge says "gate open 08:30.  All gates 12 minutes from here." ::)

Takes even longer than 12 mins if you miss the transit.

In the film Escape Plan released earlier this year, there is a scene where in the control room of the "Super Prison" there is a guard sat in front of some computer screens and built into "Holding Mount" of the screns are some Dell PowerEdge 2950 Front Covers... If you were to look at the whole desk thing and knew how deep those PowerEdge 2950's were (I have 2 of them!) then you'd know it wasn't possible to have them installed in the way they were...

For an IT Manager, This really, really annoyed me... Movie Mistake! Wonder how many other IT Techies who say the film spotted it?! :P

Oh, did anyone see the Class 395 in Fast and Furious 6? I did despite it being less than obvious ;D

</get coat=on>

ODEON Cinema in Bath... Needing to avail myself of the facilities I was met by this sign...!

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/1453352_10201177847464215_456254490_n.jpg)

The pendantic point? This is the Disabled Toilet next to Screen 5! ::) :-X

Are the 2950s 1u or 2u TT. I can never remember:)

2950's are 2U

It's the 1950's that are 1U ;-)

Asking the pedants in the pedant topic...

Wos 1950, 2950, 1u and 2u?

In laymans terms please.  :P

You will wish you hadn't asked BNM !

1950 and 2950 are types of servers made by dell. IIRC they replaced the 1850 and 2850 models

The U refers to the size they take up vertically in a computer cabinet where 1u is about 1 inch 2u is about 2 inches and so on.

But I think the point TT was making was more to do with their length from front to back. They were not the smallest of beasts!

Wake up BNM I've finished now!

Spot on ;) I was basing my pedency on the depth of said servers... ;) They had just used the Bezels (Front Covers) in the film set and anyone with knowledge of those servers would be well aware that they were not fitted in that cabinet ;D

And now for this excellent piece of signage courtesy of a friends Facebook... I think it is meant to say: No Dogs, Skateboarding, Alcohol or Smoking... Of course if one looks at this with their Autistic Literal head on... I would love to see this happen rather than enforce it's banning ;D

(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/580624_10151825805958723_634938055_n.jpg)

Shouldn't the dog also be using a mobile phone?  ;D

..and barking in the quiet coach ?

... wonder how much trade they do...

(http://www.mbob.co.uk/rforum/samar.jpg)

A new sign has gone up in the toilets at work.

"Please put your trainers in the lockers provided"

No-one told me a new bare feet only dress code was being introduced.

I thought trainers were some sort of stage-2 nappy...

Given the state of the mens toilet, I do think some of my colleagues actually need nappies.

Brucey are you taking the p!ss out of your colleagues ?!

Another 2 toilet related failures... One significantly worse than the other... But actually cannot decide because they are both very bad for different reasons...

Railway Pizza anyone??
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-74obcMGMnzc/Uq6rHxUoGII/AAAAAAAABcU/UtYqmreOnbg/w666-h888-no/IMG_0653.JPG)

No explanation necessary here... Just :o

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-fmqDbBp7wKk/Uq6rHy0zBfI/AAAAAAAABcY/--LZEw3qjww/w666-h888-no/IMG_0651.JPG)

I don't think this family should be playing with a child so close to the railway line, even if they did get 10% off.

(http://www.southernrailway.com/uploads/banner_uploads/125.jpg)

My favourite one for a while the other day.. Going into a Pub which had a step outside.. At both sides of the step there was a handwritten (and stuck on sign) saying "do not step".. I ignored them otherwise I'd not have got inside... ::) ::)

Common Sense?
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/v/t1.0-9/1897663_10202851261815146_1486430106_n.jpg?oh=0515d668cd36d0e4ac75204531957f80&oe=53B852C5&__gda__=1404679469_369ddf308a2cba835262e3589ef7a6f6)

No, they go on the Bark and Ride to do that.....

Spotted today

(http://www.wellho.net/pix/20minuteparkingonly.jpg)

There's getting to be a shortage of these spaces at the station in question, as the law abiding citizens stop there to do a "Kiss and Ride" drop off in two minutes, then have to hang around for a further 18 minutes.  Perhaps the sign should say "up to 20 minutes" ...  :D ;D

So what about 00:20.00.00.00.00.00.00??

You will never ever get EXACTLY 20mins!!

Dont forget milliseconds, microseconds, nanoseconds, picoseconds, femtoseconds and attoseconds!!!!

Indeed.  That's the 4" sausage argument of my old school teacher. (In  packet of sausages with an average length of 4", none will be exactly 4" long).

As the sign states in minute units only, isn't there an implication that the accuracy is to the minute - so that people may stop for a minimum of 19m 30s and a maximum of 20m 30s.

Slightly more seriously ...

I do wonder about 20 minute waiting zones for pickups.   If it turns out the incoming train's running late, are you allowed to wait longer, or do you have to drive around the block or park in the paid area?

I would say that 20m30 would be rounded up to 21m. 20m29 would rounded down to 20m.

Do FGW supply lanyards to visibly display my driving licence or passport?

(http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa98/bruce-47/9d0abffc-9a10-459f-b4fd-58063d48d804.jpg)

Brucey, where?

Plymouth - opposite side of the island from Platform 4

Is it obligitory to hide one's means of identification on leaving that same area? And is it like the technical area in football, which is not really technical at all?

As a keen, if by no means expert, follower of Freud, I find that ID relates to a theory of Sigmund's:

"The id (German: Es) is the unorganized part of the personality structure that contains a human's basic, instinctual drives. Id is the only component of personality that is present from birth. It is the source of our bodily needs, wants, desires, and impulses, particularly our sexual and aggressive drives. The id contains the libido, which is the primary source of instinctual force that is unresponsive to the demands of reality. The id acts according to the "pleasure principle"^the psychic force that motivates the tendency to seek immediate gratification of any impulse^ defined as, seeking to avoid pain or unpleasure (not 'displeasure') aroused by increases in instinctual tension. If the mind was solely guided by the id, individuals would find it difficult to wait patiently at a restaurant, while feeling hungry, and would most likely grab food from neighbouring tables."

Do you need a special ticket to access the ID area? I can't wait to go back to Plymouth, where it seems I am on a promise - a free b*rg*r and a g**d sh*g (I'll settle for mediocre on either count, but onions on at least one).

http://www.federationoffishfriers.co.uk/news/1352.htm?


I looked carefully though the article which is about having fish and chips on the train to see if they were limited to a restaurant car, or if the exercise was likely to end up a train-cleaner's nightmare.  And came to the understanding from the sentence above that the North Yorkshire Moors Railway will be conveying its passengers on board the steam locomotive!

Indeed. It'd be a bit cosy on the footplate it that text was taken literally.

And what exactly is a 'bygone area'?  ::)

Avonmouth.

Ooh, I say!  Unfair, sir!  :o

He may have a point...

From the BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-27711397)

'Bygone', not 'flyblown'!

Don't be too quick to judge me - I said that in love. Well, slight affection anyway.

It is only when you drive through Avonmouth and explore its side-streets that you realise how many people live there. Most have no direct connection to the port, other than it is on the doorstep. The port was the reason that some of the big industrial company like Commonwealth Smelting and that one that made carbon black for the tyre industry sprang up. Many have now gone, mainly overseas where wages and safety standards are lower, but the port area is left with this legacy of pollution, real or imagined. The town has the M5 above it, providing a 24/7 soundtrack, with the rumbling conveyor belt bringing coal from Portbury, and has now also had wind turbines dumped on it. So when someone goes to the council and says "I've got a money-making idea, but it attracts flies", Avonmouth is always going to get the gig ahead of Stoke Bishop.

I have been on cruises with Mrs FT, N!in the Caribbean, off California, and various round Europe and/or Africa jaunts. Few ports are things of beauty in themselves (although Funchal and Mykonnos are nice), but workaday conduits to bring goods and passengers in to spend their money further down the line. Avonmouth deserves better. But it won't get it.

Think about the poor people near Newport Docks - they have a World War Two bomb to contend with.

http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/gwentnews/11280472._WWII_bomb__found_at_Newport_store/?ref=var_0 (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/gwentnews/11280472._WWII_bomb__found_at_Newport_store/?ref=var_0)

Apparently not.  Update says it was a Victorian pressure vessel.  Hope no poor kids were doing their exams in the school that was evacuated.

Not sure if this is pedantry or health and safety gone mad - but if a train passed this sign at sufficient speed to cause turbulence, I'd be a might concerned about those buffer stops....

(http://www.mbob.co.uk/rforum/cory2106.jpg)

I'm trying to work out where that could be. Coryton?

Spot on!

(http://www.mbob.co.uk/rforum/cory21061.jpg)

Not just turbulence, but Turbulence, look you!  :o ;) ;D

Also, why are the words 'Prams' and 'Pushchairs' capitalised in English but not Welsh?

They are not big on capitals, with the main exception being Caerdydd.

Probably because the English was written by a random employee and then translated into Welsh by someone who has a proper knowledge of the grammar of that language. As I recall (happy to be corrected) only proper nouns in English should start with a capital letter, so the English on the sign is incorrect, the Welsh is spot on! Unless of course it is south Walian Welsh, in which case it's just plain wrong!  ;D

It is, as Winnie-the-Pooh might say, More Complicated than That.

According to the Plain English Campaign, I am indeed correct and it need not be as complex as Winnie might suggest!

http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/files/capitalletters.pdf (http://www.plainenglish.co.uk/files/capitalletters.pdf)

I think that's Quite Complicated Enough for a Bear of Very Little Brain.

Any view from ymgyrch plaen Cymraeg?

I'm not aware of such an organisation! I seem to recall from my Welsh learning days many years ago that the capitalisation rules are much the same as English

(https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-TTX2hBqUTRw/U7w0-YISpYI/AAAAAAAAOBU/6HhzIKchC9g/w983-h553-no/20140628_195727.jpg)

::)

What's wrong with that? Pl 11B is one oart of Pl 11

Car hire now available on Platform 5 at Bristol Temple Meads.

(http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa98/bruce-47/22d1af70-92bb-4dea-ab30-563ee374d1af.jpg)

Can I hire the (power) car in the background?  :P

We have a soundtrack for grammar pedantry now, thanks to Wierd Al Yankovic:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

Excellent lyrics set to the tune of 'Blurred Lines' by Robin Thicke.

 ;D

I wonder if the driver of the power car got a PE for stopping short. Tsk tsk.

The original picture was provided in a First Great Western press release:

(http://i.imgur.com/BEIx3tT.jpg)

Platform 3, I think.  ;)



Edit note: Link to image now amended. CfN.  :P

Might not be best linking directly to your google mail account!!

Fair comment - I did wonder whether that would work!  ::)

Try this:

(http://www.tvptravel.co.uk/sites/default/files/styles/articles_detail_image/public/field/image/SWNS_EUROPCAR_FIRST_12.jpg)

Ah, the clearer image now solves my mystery of how they got the car onto an island platform!

"1st Class is at platform 11B"

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/cats_zps04c88924.jpg)

The picture is a little small and blurry, but in the event of using Exit A, arm must be detached from body prior to operating inflatable slide.
(http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa98/bruce-47/fd6c0f6e-a979-43fd-8958-bcfb0a5bf35f.jpg)

(http://www.bitterwallet.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/card.jpg)

Just who and/or what is this exactly?!?!

A railway station ? (Based on years of travelling experience, of course)

</mischievous>

Who knows - link is broken!

Curious ChrisB - it was there earlier

It seems its the dreaded lets use a cached google url.

Apologies, I pulled the link from Google Drive and not Google+ Photo Backup. Lack of Coffee and not concentrating

Here is the correct photo:

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-olOC3pO2jug/U-LOeZcU2oI/AAAAAAAAgUA/YYQz5R86e5k/w1538-h865-no/20130629_191800.jpg)

A borderline meme candidate for the caption: WHEN YOU SEE IT... YOU'LL SH$T BRICKS!

I assume we're not talking about the guy on the left with the "OBEY" baseball cap. So from the positioning of the camera we must be looking for something hidden on the platform floor. Optical illusion or some sort of stain?

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-gIPnDI-s81M/U_jgihRdXiI/AAAAAAAAhbg/8SfHzfVIAkE/w1026-h577-no/20140823_193743.jpg)

All areas from which side of the notice?? ::) ;D :P

Not to mention this notice is in a Standard Class Carriage :D

I suspect this is in a Micro Buffet carriage, where FGW have designated the area beyond the sliding door, next to the buffet, as 1st Class.

As an aside, I'm surprised at just how many images from this forum are indexed by Google when you search "FGW buffet" or similar. My ugly mug pops up too.

... and at least one image of bobm, I note.  ;) :D ;D

Think Richard needs some help ;D

(http://i.imgur.com/Qg5lzBm.jpg)

Richard appears to have got his van onto Bishop Rock, west of the Isles of Scilly. Impressive!

Are all DPD drivers named Richard?  I'm sure Richard makes my deliveries here and also delivers to my parent's home in Hampshire.

I think it is company policy. Any non-Richards have to change name by deed poll before taking up employment, even the women. The advantages to the company are obvious:

1) You don't need to learn everyone's name;
2)You only need one button for driver's name on the computer tracking system; and
3) If it all goes bosoms skywards, it's Richard's fault.

4) When complaining about non-delivery, you can say, in all honesty, your company is full of Dicks.

(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-OE0mD8K2HUA/VBB2hfXJBUI/AAAAAAAAiNQ/k9XM6vePOSo/w949-h534-no/20140910_170415.jpg)

Taunton?

What are we supposed to be seeing here?

What does Coach L have on it that Coach K doesn't have... ;)

Not a seagull, so far as I can make out. It's tickled thetrout though. Is it the couple engaged in a knee-trembler?

Well coach L has a toilet window, but coach K (being, I suspect, a TRFB with a storeroom vice toilet) doesn't.

Although I think you're pedantry is toward the lack of a grey '1st Class' sticker on K.  ;)

Did I get the location right?  :P

I reckon it's Carnforth, for that fillum "Brief Encounters". I love that piccie, especially where the mother ship comes down below the clouds with all that light and music.

Given the lack of a toilet, let's hope it's not 'Brief Encounters of the Turd Kind'

In Bordeaux around October 1974, I saw "Recontres du Troisi^me Type" which was a bit ironic. All the English text was subtitled into French, except the French bits which had been subtitled into English in the original. (Such as <<Ecoutez-moi, t^te de merde>>

On a bus in London today.. Can't believe I've not noticed it before but there is this sign (or similar wording).. "Do not talk to or obscure the driver's vision while the bus is moving"... So how exactly would someone talk to the driver's vision?  ::)

All counts correct ;)

Taunton, Lack of Grey Sticker and a Buffet Car ;D

I'm glad that's all sorted out, then.

Aha! Taunton.

An inspired guess from some few visual clues.  ;D

Obviously I recognised it as Taunton straight away - but I didn't want to show off by naming it.  :P

(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-TtX_G30gEfM/VBz47aiEfoI/AAAAAAAAiuk/9tjSYy2PIiw/w1026-h577-no/20140920_044739.jpg)

But what if you took a train here from London to catch a bus service that starts here?

No thanks for you then? ;D

It's also not in London :P

Insted, Stansted is Inessex.  ;)

Just like London Southend Airport... ::)

And London Gatwick in Sus sex. Makes me sound creepy Crawley... ???

Airports are like that... Lulsgate Bottom International is hundreds of yards from Lulsgate Bottom.

Don't start me on London Oxford airport.... it isn't even in Oxford, let alone London.

Nor London Stansted, London Luton, nor to the delight of the true pedant London Heathrow!


I thought Lulsgate Bottom what was you got from eating out-of-date airline meals. Another terrible disease is Boxcar Willie, caught on freight trains in the USA...

It's now Bristol Airport: we apparently dropped the International a few years ago: http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Rebranded-Bristol-Airport-drops-International/story-11299139-detail/story.html  ;)

It seems that once the foreign destinations served exceed a certain number, it is considered vulgar to retain the "International". That is left for the likes of Blackpool (4 non-seasonal overseas routes, or 5 if the Isle of Man counts), Leeds-Bradford (nearing the number for losing "International"), Exeter (2 non-seasonal overseas routes), and Norwich (also 2). Bournemouth non-International serves 8 permanent foreign destinations.

A similar principle can be seen in other contexts. Some schools of karate return to a white belt for the highest rank, usually held by one old man who can barely stand, but could still eviscerate an opponent with an eyelash. Doctors who achieve the exclusive height of membership or fellowship of the Royal College of Surgeons drop the title "Doctor" and become "Mister" (I'm not sure if this applies also to female fellows). In both cases, this is done to demonstrate to the lower orders that the master is no different to the pupil, merely vastly superior in ability, god-like stature, and salary.

But think about it - why on Earth would you want a major airport inside a city?

Heathrow is too close in as it is. Since huge numbers of aircraft have to take off or land over London, over thirty years or more there is a significant probability that a big one will fall out of the sky onto a densely populated bit. Followed by politicians and others blaming each other ("who ever thought that was a good idea - not me!").

And anyway ... how much of "London" is really in "London"?

Come now, stuving, this is the pedant alert thread! Even London City airport isn't within the strict limits of London's square mile.

Your point about proximity and the chances of one "going in" is well made, yet seemingly insoluble without huge sums being expended. The major problem is that Heathrow was established to the west of London, with firstly one then two east / west runways (OK, I know this is the pedant alert thred, and there were actually six at one point after the concept of runways arrived, rather than just a big field with aircraft needing only a few hundred metres take-off roll into the wind, but I am talking Modern Age, Comet / 707 onwards), the prevailing wind being westerly in the winter / spring / autumn months and easterly in summer. Aircraft take off and land into the wind, which was not a big issue when most of the aircraft so taking off would have 10 minutes of flight over farmland before getting anywhere close to the Metrolopse. By the time this was an issue, caused by the several forces of larger aircraft, urban sprawl, and increased passenger numbers, it was too late to do much about it, except try to mitigate the risks. Paris has two major airports, one north, one south of the city, neither any further from the centre than Heathrow, but neither having flight paths over the Champs Elysee or the Tour d'Eiffel. Heathrow 27R passes over Windsor Castle within 2 minutes of departure if the aircraft does not turn (they do unless in bad weather, but still pass close at almost TOGA power), and 09L gives passengers a birds eye view of Hampton court Palace at low level before skirting the Houses of Parliament and Canary Wharf.

Had Norman MacMillan, in 1925, been forced down by mechanical problems at Cheshunt or Caterham, rather than Heathrow, we may have ended up with an alignment of runways / prevailing wind / capital on a par with Paris. But he wasn't, so we are stuck with it, and the perceived need for more capacity to boot. The first battle by locals against a third runway at Heathrow began before the second was finished. It is such a big issue that no government wants to tackle it, given there are only five years between elections. I think that as a country, we are getting better at super-massive infrastructure projects, but in the time it has taken to decide on a third reactor at Hinkley Point, for example, there have been three elections, and it could still be dumped by the next government if the Greens win. (Ladbrokes are offering generous odds). Heathrow's third runway has been an issue since 1946, and thus looks, possibly, to be the first major infrastructure to outlast three monarchs (four if you count the eponymous airline).

As it's the pedant's thread I feel I should point out that plans for a third nuclear power station at Hinkley Point have been around for far longer than the last three elections. As early as 1981 the Central Electricity Generating Board were exploring options for a third site at Hinkley Point. In 1987 a planning application was submitted to Somerset County Council by the CEGB. A public inquiry was held in 1988. I remember the local news coverage well. And also debating the issues as part of my Personal & Social Development lessons at secondary school in Taunton. The CEGB obtained the planning permission in 1990 to build a Pressurised Water Reactor similar to that at Sizewell B. With Conservative plans to privatise the energy generation industries around the same time there was little firm commitment from central government to provide funds or underwrite the construction costs. Nobody wanted to buy the existing nuclear power stations when the Conservative government first attempted to sell them. The plan for Hinkley C was finally dropped following, at the second attempt, privatisation of the nuclear energy generation industry in the mid 1990s.

I stand corrected, and am grateful, bnm. It has, therefore, bubbled on through three administrations, seven general elections,  five Prime Ministers, and Nick Clegg. Hinkley C will be built in spite of government, not because of it.

I saw this sign in Nelson Street, Bristol.

(http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/Boyamijealous_7108a707/BMC_zps76a5bb94.jpg)

I may be verging on the lunatic frtinge of true pedantry, but am I the only one to think that this is possibly the daftest sign ever created? How can cyclists use the "mandatory" cycle lane if they cannot enter it? That it is sited outside a cycling caf^ and workshop makes it dafter, and the gentleman pictured is far from the only person to not comply.

Didn't notice that sign today as I wandering around that area (Long story to do with buses being snarled up following a bus/pedestrian RTC outside Debenhams in Broadmead (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-city-centre-road-closed-pedestrian-hit/story-24782497-detail/story.html)).

What I did notice though was that the New Bridewell Police Station, a 1960s building even I, a lover of modernism, didn't really like, has been obliterated. All that was left today was the main stairwell/liftshaft.

The BiB are now in across the road in a building called The Bridewell Police Station (http://www.kendallkingscott.co.uk/projects/bridewell/). I find it mildly amusing that the Old Bridewell Police Station is still standing, the New Bridewell is gone, and Avon & Somerset Constabulary are now in building called The Bridewell. I wonder why the latest cop shop wasn't called The New New Bridewell?  :P

(http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/Boyamijealous_7108a707/Bridewell_zpsa8d69899.jpg)

The Old Bridewell (more formally, Central Police Station) in Nelson St, Bristol:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/58/Central_Police_Station_Bristol.jpg

What I love about that picture (not mine) is the parked cars featured. I'm assuming it's merely coincidence that it features four Ford Focus' (Foci? Focuses?). Not to forget one example of the Focus' predecessor - an Escort. Shame there's only one Escort. Plural for them is much easier.

Informal plural of focus is Focuses I believe; Foci being the formal form.  And yes, there is only ONE Escort - the Mark 1, that is!  (not pictured, unfortunately, as only spotted at classic car rallies these days) Those were the days! (Sigh)

You might then be envious to know that there is a Mk1 Escort works rally car that lives in my neighbours garage, which I see from time to time, very nice (and expensive) it is too!

Oh dear, the old bridewell is what I term the police station.....you can tell how long ago I left bristol!

Reference the cars outside.....my first car was a Mk1 Escort in Daytona yellow, lovely car only 20000 miles when I got it
when it was 20 years old. Absolutely rubbish in snow however...it was a 1.3L automatic.

If it's cancelled, how can it be calling at Bath Spa and Bristol Temple Meads?  ;D

(http://www.wellho.net/pix/cancall.jpg)

The 2nd train was the 17:53 to Westbury (not shown here) and it came in and disgorged 45 passengers and still left full and standing for Melksham, Trowbridge and Westbury.  I dread to think what it must have been like off Swindon, as the Westbury's only a one coach train - I certainly hope that passengers who had wanted to travel beyond Chippenham weren't denied boarding at Swindon, as the next train doesn't leave Chippenham until 19:09 on that route ...

(Picture and notes from Wednesday 22nd April 2015)

That's an interesting point, and one I did think about when I discovered my normal 1730 was cancelled.  If the train is rammed to the point that no-one else can get on, do the on train staff have any right to ask pax for Chippenham to get off the train to enable those for Melksham and beyond to get on? It would seem a sensible thing to do, but I can imagine the problems it could cause.

I doubt whether the service was any busier than usual south of CPM due to the earlier cancellation, so 'full and standing" is probably just the norm now for that service.

That's a "special case" concern, thank goodness.   The train is scheduled to leave six minutes after your "Taunton" (17:30 HST ex Swindon via Chippenham) and as a result the local traffic from Swindon to Chippenham on the service is sparse on the 17:36.   It's how we wanted it to work - self policing, if you like - whether by design (FGW have some clever and thoughtful timetables) or otherwise, it works.   

On days like the one we talk about - I don't know; at it happens I was at Chippenham rather than Swindon to join, but I can imagine heated incidents if asking people to get off so that longer distance traffic could get on. We actually have had a very real fear that - were a successful station to be opened at Royal Wootton Bassett while the TransWilts is limited to  a single carriage 8 trains per day that it would overcrowd off Swindon and deny boarding to passengers for beyond - however, "RWB" looks like it's one of the later / less likely prospects on the http://www.transwilts.org TransWilts vision 2020 map.


Passengers for the 17:30 would have been well advised to wait for the train that's half an hour later for Bath Spa, and for Bradford-on-Avon via Bath Spa.   For Bristol and beyond, travel via Parkway may have regained them some time.  The only stations that are quicker via Melksham if the 17:30 is cancelled are Avoncliff and Freshford, and the flows from Swindon or Chippenham to those two aren't significant.

On the other hand, passengers from east of Swindon onto the 17:36 are given the 17:30 into Swindon as their connecting service, so south of Chippenham the service was a little quieter than usual; I noted the absence of a couple of regulars who I happen to have got to know, and there may have been more.   But for sure "full and standing" is the norm for this service into Melksham; there are enough seats for everyone who's left on board south of there.

My sister used to live in a house called the Old Rectory. There are many Old School Houses, Old Bakerys (deliberate plural form), Old Forges and so on. Will any residence built on the site be known as the Old New Bridewell?

As a matter of interest, are any New Rectorys (deliberate plural form) being built?  :P

Yes

That's that sorted, then.

I only wondered because, in my day job, I have delivered to several 'Old Rectorys' - but not one 'New Rectory'.  ::) ;) ;D

The problem with calling something "new" is that the description doesn't fit for very long .. but call it "old" and the name can last forever.

On the same basis, I used to be ahead of the times but it was hard work to stay there.  These days I find it much easier to be behind the times!

So I can look forward to an imminent renaming of New Barnet, then?


I know what you mean. They say you're getting on when you switch from Radio 1 and start listening to Radio 2. And you're really getting long in the tooth when you list to Radio 2 but think it's Radio 1.

I merely listen to Classic FM (other stations aimed at old fogeys are also available on the wireless, apparently).  :P

And so do I sometimes.

Bigger problem is working out how to retune the radio....

According to my daughter I officially became a boring old f**t when I started listening to Radio 4.  But at least it can't be confused with Radio 1 or 2.....

Hmm, I don't listen to R2 but on occasions when I hear it in the background somewhere, it does strike me that it plays the same music and even has some of the same DJs that were on R1 when I was a teenager.

I think you are right on both points. At the time of writing some of the R1 DJs from my youth may have either died or have been asked to spend time at Her Majesty's Pleasure - if you get my meaning.

This reminds me of the interview I saw a while back, possibly on "Countryfile" or similar:
Interviewer: "Have you worked here all your life?"
Farmer: "Not Yet"

Or they are doing the breakfast show on BBC Radio Devon  ;D

In a similar vein, a farmer was asked, "What would you do if you won a million pounds on the lottery?"  He replied, "I'd just carry on farming until the money ran out."   ::) :o ;D

Turns out being a grammar pedant can get you out of a parking citation (read that as ticket in English) in Ohio: http://mashable.com/2015/07/02/missing-comma-parking-ticket/

Ehm, all joking aside, this may be my overly literal thinking talking here. But that is a perfectly adequate defence... She didn't park a Motor Vehicle Camper in the bay and it's simple as that. Where is the issue?! ??? ???

Think one of the bizarre typos I've seen recently was Lowell Debt Collection Agency trying to claim money from an unpaid mobile phone bill. They advised they bought the debt in 2037... So trying to gain money for a debt they couldn't possibly own and by 2037 would be well and truly statue barred anyway ::) :-X :o

Oh and they sent the letter dated on the 29th February 2015 too... Someone there rather urgently needs to go back to school :D

I've also got into the most pointless argument today with someone about the use of a restaurants WiFi to access Facebook. Facebook is supposively banned as the restaurants local policy. Not using their WiFi and using the 3G Cell Connection in my laptop I was compliant with the notice that stated:

"Customers may not use our WiFi to access Facebook"

I was using my 3G so can someone please tell me what I did wrong?

Chippenham:

(http://i598.photobucket.com/albums/tt68/bignosemac/rps20150709_213036_zpsnxsfxokh.jpg)

Why would I want to open the button?  ;D

Regular (and frequent) announcement at Derby station:
"If you see anything unusual on our stations or trains, please contact a member of staff or a Police Officer"

Me (wearing pedant hat):
"Officer, the 0850 to London left at 0850 today.  This has never happened before..."