Great Western Coffee Shop

Just for fun. No prizes.

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My effort: Lookout with the blue and white flag is shouting "Wave!" to the two guys on the footpath. One of them has misunderstood.

"Mrs Lewis at number 32 says she was 'just going to put the kettle on for us' - but have you found it yet?"

One of the big orange gang says ................ "thought FGW driver said it was a rough ride spot a 5 mph ESR should be ok"

Digging has started for new underground railway at Dawlish.

I guess this is what they call a void day...

2nd bloke from left: "This'll help - it's a cheque for ^10 from the Gloucestershire Warwickshire Railway"

What the hell lads ..let's get stuck in at Tavistock!

Hole in trackbed, Network Rail are looking into it.

"Lemmings The Movie - Take Two"

'Mind The Gap'

I can only quote this morning's Metro, alongside a slightly different picture: "The service is definitely suspended" - then repeated as "the damage to the track saw trains suspended between ... Exeter and Cornwall".

"Is that a Class 153 down there?"

"We can't blame this on the badgers"

HOLE IN THE GROUND ( A Sea Song)
(Ted Dicks / Myles Rudge)

Bernard Cribbins - 1962.... I have updated it somewhat !

Verse 1 sung by sea

There I was, a-diggin' this 'ole
'Ole in the ground, so big and sort o' round it was
And there was I, diggin' it deep
It was flat at the bottom and the sides were steep
When along comes this bloke in an 'ard 'at
Which he lifted and scratched his 'ead
Woooh, he looked down the 'ole
Poor demented soul and he said

"Do you mind if I make a suggestion?

Don't dig there, dig it elsewhere
Your digging it round and it ought to be square
The shape of it's wrong, it's much too long
And you can't put hole where a hole don't belong"

I ask, what a liberty, eh?
Nearly bashed him right in the.... oo-er missus

Sung by a high viz jacket

Well, there was I, a-stood in me 'ole
Shovellin' earth for all that I was worth, I was
And there was 'im, standin' up there
So grand and official with his nose in the air
So I gave him a look sort of sideways
And I leaned on me shovel and sighed
Woooh, I lit me a fag....(elf n safety might not like that)
And havin' took a drag I replied

I just couldn't bear to dig it elsewhere
I'm diggin' it round 'cos I don't want it square
And if you disagree, it doesn't bother me
That's the place where the 'oles gonna be

Well there we were, discussing this 'ole
'Ole in the groud, so big and sort o' round
It's not there now, the cement's set, whack
And beneath it is the bloke in the 'ard 'ard 'at

And that's that!

That tamp last night was a bit too much, better order some extra stone for the stone blower

Yes, I know I said "clean the ballast", and I must admit you have done that, but ...

... but can you put it back please?

Blimey, we'll have to do more digging then Fred West to put this right!

"Look the drawing said an 8 meter UTX not 80 meters .................... Fred get the shovels out of van"

UTX - Under Track Crossing (dug under the track formation of cable ducts and other pipes)

The two men standing on the ledge: man waving his arm about;

"This as all due to the cross-Atlantic, jet-stream accelerated precipitative storm surge"

Second chap:  "......(blank look) no mate, it was a wave, .......really."

"Could one of you lads up there pop down here with some cement and a trowel?  I've just spotted some pointing that could do with some purely cosmetic repairs ... "

Time for another:

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It really is time that retention tanks were fitted to HSTs. Look what happens when a dozen toilets are all flushed at once.

"The SatNav DEFINITELY said this would be a railway line"

HST = Hydro Static Train

New for 2014 "FGW Weekend Cruises" at no extra charge

"New stock announced for Southend Pier Railway."

Can't think of a funny caption right now, but I can still see the track. Why did the train have to stop, rather than proceed with extreme caution (5mph maybe)?

At the time that picture was taken, services were running.

Flooding got worse though.

Drive to his mate ........... "did I SPAD or Splash that last signal"

SailRail taken to the extreme.

In the words of Simon & Garfunkel, "Trouble Over Bridgwater"

*Like*  ;D

Oh that's brilliant PB!  Even the people affected by the floods might manage a wry smile at that !

The 07:30 First GW Sealink service now arriving at platform pier 2 is for .........

Note in drivers repair book - under frame wash pressure to be reduced at next C exam before entering depot.  And don't come back with no fault found ......

Brunel's vision was that Bristol was just the first stop on a crossing of the Atlantic...

Hurrying back from Sobibor, Thomas suddenly found himself in a watery wilderness.

"Oh no....." groaned Thomas  ::) "The Fat Controller has fallen in the water tank again......"

Hmm.  I rather think you meant Sodor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sodor_(fictional_island)), rather than Sobibor (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sobibor_extermination_camp), Cynthia?  ::) :o ;D

Oh, whoops!

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"But if you cant afford 30 tokens for the rollercoaster, then the waterslide up the road is only 5 today..."

Not a caption, but SDS pad's photoshopped image has reminded me of a great 'train' movie. North West Frontier, starring Kenneth More, Lauren Bacall and Herbert Lom.

There's a scene in that film where they take a train over a damaged viaduct, with the train leaning heavily as it traverses the unsupported track.

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 ;D

One of my favourite films.  Not only is there the miraculous bridge crossing, but various engineering problems, like blown up track and the lack of a pump to get water to the engine, are all sorted quickly and with amateur confidence.  Who needs over-cautious and over-engineered NR when you have Kenneth More in charge?  ;D

When they said the sleepers have been suspended between London and Penzance, I thought ...

I see the road safety campaigners have hit the railways, too. 30 limits in towns and traffic calming measures - there'll be a speed camera there next!

Brilliant!  ;D

Agreed ! I think Puffing Billy has come up with 2 absolutely superb captions recently!  I suggest the mods appoint him caption-writer-in-chief !

Edit: Network Rail to tackle train speeding.
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New one for you.


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Lorry driver .... "lets put the hammer down and see it really is MAC 3"

To compete with Megabus Gold, First Group introduce their 1st Class Express Coach service.

Despite government budgetary cutbacks, HS3 finally arrives in the Westcountry.

FGW get around Dave from Witney wanting to remove of First Class from trains by sending them by road

On again today. A perfect afternoon film for a wet Bank Holiday Monday. I missed the scheduled departure of 'Empress of India' (aka Victoria), at 1405 this afternoon on BBC2, but fortunately I can watch North West Frontier at my leisure as the BBC have seen fit to include the film on BBC iPlayer.

Indeed - and despite subsequently losing both legs in a flying accident, he went on to win the Battle of Britain.  ;) :D ;D

Not to forget; driving an ancient car to Brighton, training as a doctor, being shipwrecked on a desert island, then being shipwrecked again after an argument with an iceberg in the North Atlantic, getting mixed up with spies and jumping off the Forth Bridge, and finally, helping sink a German flag ship.

And after breakfast....

Ah, yes: I remember that night. ;D

Any More like this ? ::)

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Bullhead rail?

"I'm looking for that cow at Nailsea and Backwell (http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/coffeeshop/index.php?topic=12937.0) ..."

It seems Motorail is back.

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Failed to park between the lines. Expect a PCN from APCoA in the post.

Mac now supports Windows

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Nothing yet about cowmuting?

Not that I've seen... However there were trials in 2011 for a new DMU Engine with improved brake horse power... Sadly the trials were withdrawn due to insufficient water points between Wrexham and Canterbury

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"When the station announcement said it would be a one car, I rather thought it would be a 153 ..."

Should've gone to Specsavers ;D

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A 153? On Metrolink? :o ;D

From the BBC (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-tyne-47981117/a-guide-horse-s-day-out-on-tyne-wear-metro-training) - taking your guide horse on the train.


One has to wonder at the "assistance dogs only" signs you see in places ... and wonder if the assistance horse will be allowed.   Is the law permitting guide dogs to go virtually anywhere limited to dogs, or does it include horses?

The legislation, the Equality Act 2010, only refers to assistance dogs.

However, it could be possible to bring a case under the act for general discrimination if a disabled person and their assistance horse were denied access to a business or service.

There are only a few assistance horses in the UK at present but there are already people advocating a change in the wording of the act, from 'dog' to 'animal'.

Another article about Digby:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/02/06/first-ever-guide-horse-trained-help-blind-journalist

If small horses are allowed in hospitals then I don't think there's any justifiable reason to deny them access to businesses and services. Yes, I've seen a small horse in a hospital. When my stepfather was in Yeovil District Hospital over Christmas 2017 he was visited by a Shetland pony!