Great Western Coffee Shop

Flying from the USA into London's Heathrow airport from Thursday through into Friday afternoon last week, I was subjected to an advert for Heathrow Express at the start of each and every video I watched during the flight.  I won't post spoilers about the films and TV show reruns in case you've not seen them yet ... but I will pass comment on the video.  Which I saw enough times to start thinking about, and then to photograph the screen so that I can comment later!


So much is given away by the marketing lines ...

* "No Stops" ... well, this looks like an acknowledgement if ever I've seen one that Heathrow Express gets priority over all other traffic into Hayes and Harlington and up to Paddington!  HSTs may be brought to a crawl or stop before airport junction, but it seems that HEX are pretty sure they won't be.

* "No Traffic" ... err ... as I recall there's somewhere around 15 trains out of Paddington on the down main in peak hours, only 4 of which are headed into Heathrow.  And as I recall some of those other trains can be quite busy?  Of course, with the absolute priority that HEX seems to get, the airport passengers won't notice the other traffic.

* I love the scenery out of the windows. That is a typical example of what you'll see from a HEX train, right?  As far as I can recall, the journey's urban most of the way.

* "No Hassle".  Agreed - easy to purchase tickets.   And especially agreed if you compare it to the hassle that can be involved in getting walk up tickets to other destinations than Paddington.  Indeed, I would suggest that you can "pay through the nose" for this contrast in hassle, which seems almost designed to maximised income for HEX.

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I grabbed the photos above even before my experiences on arrival. And I would challenge any newcomer to the UK to get the best value onward walk up rail ticketing to their final destination station.

I landed at Heathrow - intercontinental at around 3 p.m..   Due to the scatter of arrival times on such flights (occasionally early, sometime late, even a day late sometimes) and mixture of taxiing, unloading, procesing and luggage times, I hadn't pre-ticketed to Melksham.   Options were train, or the direct daily coach at 18:15 which is quite attractive with a 21:05 arrival into Melksham, and a five rather than 20 minute walk back to base with luggage.  I could probably also have considered rail-air link to Reading, or coach to Chippenham and local bus from there.

A failed skybridge was just part of the longest elapsed time I can remember from touchdown to being clear of customs. Still over 2 hours before the coach, so I decided on the train ...
 
What I should have been able to do was ask for the best value to Melkham with a senior card from the chap who was selling train tickets at the ticket office. And by my calculation he should have sold me tickets totalling £22.40, with a cauution that I needed to change at Hayes and Harlington and Didcot (or if I changed at Reading to ensure I was on a train that then called at Didcot) and Swindon. That's the sort of advise and help I would hope that would be delivered to new arrivals in this country looking to complete their journeys by train.

But he declined to serve me, and sent me to the machine opposite which was only offering pickups of preorders, and popular destinations.   And whilst Melksham's popular with me, it isn't popular with the people who programmed the machine.  Furthermore, I happened to know that I would have been charged £50.55 rather than £22.40 without a Didcot split, as the off peak Heathrow to Melksham (and Reading to Melksham) services have evening restrictions that I would hit, but both Heathrow to Didcot and Didcot to Melksham's off peak restrictions are morning only ones.

I did manage to get to a keyboard where I could enter "Didcot" - you select "popular destinations" then the button that was popular destinations changes to "other destinations", but I couldn't find a facility to get the second part of the journey ticket, so made to with just the Heathrow to Didcot, to purchase the remaining part pior to leaving Didcot.

And puchasing the second half was harder than it might sound. I asked the lady on Heathrow Connect if she could sell me an onward ticket and she said yes, but then declined when I told her what I wanted.

I went to the excess ticket window at Reading, but it was closed so went through the barriers on my Heathrow - Didcot and queued for what I wanted; lady in the ticket office reluctant to sell me a ticket from Didcot and questioned me about it even through I was precise in what I required.  Thank goodness the Red Dragon was a couple of minutes late and I managed to get back through the barrier and over the bridge (and with all my luggage coming back from my intercontinental trip, remember) just in time.

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So - yes - I agree that Heathrow Express is "No Hassle" and "Low Commotion" when compared to the much lower priced alternatives!

 "No Traffic" ... err ... as I recall there's somewhere around 15 trains out of Paddington on the down main in peak hours, only 4 of which are headed into Heathrow.  And as I recall some of those other trains can be quite busy?  Of course, with the absolute priority that HEX seems to get, the airport passengers won't notice the other traffic.


- to be fair I think this is drawing a contrast with going by road and the possibility of getting stuck in traffic?  :)

I'm pretty sure you're right.  But I would have thought you of all our posters, TaplowGreen, will have been stuck in rail traffic between the approach to Airport Junction and Paddington  ;D ;D

Looking at the situation between Paddington and Reading today, I'd be grateful just to be moving anywhere! Stay on the plane!!!  ;D

Careful what you suggest TG - next thing we know, Graham will be organizing a campaign to turn MoD Lyneham civilian and renaming it Melksham International Airport  ;) ;D

That will be Melksham London Airport.

Hmmm ... more clever to open a runway at Kemble or Hullavington as Wiltshire Airport.  Hullavington's just 1.5 km from the railway line to Cardiff that is being electrified and 1.5 km from the M4 junction that already exists.  And Kemble isn't far from an existing station (at Kemble!) and they already land 747s there.   Not sure if the runway's long enough for them to take off again, mind you!

In reallity, airport access from Wiltshire is best by rail - future enhancement linking Swindon to Westbury, Westbury to Salisbury, and Salisbury on to the Romsey six. Makes good use of existing trains on all three sectors of that route and provides other flows for them too.   And avoids Thames Valley engineering problems ;-)

They don't need to take off again. They land and then somebody saws them into little bits!

.......I doubt it, the Melksham locals have only recently stopped crossing themselves and diving under haystacks when "flying machines" pass overhead, God knows what would happen if one landed!!! :D

Please see previous post for details of the fate of any flying machines which mistakenly land in Wiltshire...  ;D

Ah, now... (and here we can get into a real pedant-fest)... runway at Kemble is 08/26 and as prevailing wind is SW, most landings will touch down in Gloucestershire, roll into Wiltshire and then taxi back into Gloucestershire to be scrapped.

I would get out more but my anorak is being dry-cleaned...  ;D

I remember seeing the Red Arrows operating out of RAF Kemble, as it was then, from the perimeter fence (they were based there, from 1966 to 1983)  ;)

On a similar theme, I recall going for a job interview in Tetbury, early 2000's, and being rather impressed at the sight of a B52 shortly after it had taken off from Fairford, as I recall it was observed from the train somewhere between Kemble & Stroud.

As I understand the requirements on ticket offices they are required to sell the best priced ticket for the end-to-end journey in question. In this case it would be a Heathrow - Hayes - Melksham ticket with the Railcard discount. The ticket offices are not obliged to offer split tickets, but they have to sell them if asked.

However, I don't know what regulations cover ticket sales at Heathrow. Is it a 'National Rail' ticket office or one that belongs to Heathrow Airports Ltd?

PS. I have never had any problems in the past in buying split tickets at Reading.

The impartial retailing rules do not apply to Heathrow Express sales outlets. They only apply to DfT/Transport Scotland awarded rail franchises/concessions, and to the lead operator at National Rail stations.

So, for example, GWR at Paddington have to be impartial. HEx don't.

Most of the "heavy" jets arriving at Kemble do meet their end there, but some also come for storage and do make it out again.

No problem to get a light 747 off that approx. 1,900m runway.

The "No stops, no traffic," etc, clearly compare to going by road.

As for trying to buy a ticket, imagine how difficult it would be if you didn't speak – or read – (much) English. Obviously this applies to all transport terminals at all international airports. There might be a case for multilingual ticket machines at Heathrow, Gatwick, etc, as well as (favouring) employing staff with other languages there.

But I misread the thread title and thought this was going to be about advertising on the HEx. I hate those on-board screens and videos!

Yes ... in my "day job" we receive a lot of international guests and from talking with them I'm very much aware of how difficult the transport system can be for them.  There is a strong case at airport stations and perhaps at other popular international-traffic stations (Stratford-upon-Avon, Bicester Village, Bath Spa ...) for additional assistance and / or multilingual signage; at other places the case is less strong, and (reduction ad absurdum) having signage in 10 languages at Dilton Marsh would be counterproductive.   Staff are usually helpful, but sometimes they're hard to find or absent, and on occasions they'll give advise that's plain wrong and moves passengers on to someone else's area.


I'm tempted to describe the Heathrow situation, where there is no obligation to provide impartial ticketing at the UK's prime international arrival point, as a scandal. In my view, there should be a prominent outlet offering ticketing to all stations on the Great Britain network for arriving passengers at best price for immediate travel, just as there is at every other staffed station.

How touchingly naive! Airports have much higher priorities than that - and not just because they are privately owned. There's a lot of regional airports that exists primarily as status symbols.

Of course this public service stuff has a value to them as PR, but all airports are commercial to some extent and want to separate passengers from as much of their money as possible. That only really works well on departure, and for arrivals the traditional thinking was to steer everyone into a taxi. Eventually the airports just couldn't resist getting into that market, which is being squeezed between slower traffic and passengers in a hurry. So they provide trains, but at premium prices.

So a lot of effort goes into helping London taxis. I think it's still true that local taxis have no rank at Heathrow, despite those local destinations (especially going outwards) being ones for which a taxi is ideal. You have to book a car in advance. I thought that was a particular British perversity, until I found almost the same was true at Madrid. Uber may, or may not, provide a better option; I gather there is still a bit of a battle going on with the airport as well as the cabbies.

How touchingly cynical.

I didn't suggest that the ticketing 'scandal' could easily be sorted ...I'm not that naive  ;D

I think there's a good case for at least two: Wiltshire and Railwayese!

... and physically impossible - there's not enough space for it.  :o ::) ::) ;D

My understanding is that it's the same at Bristol Airport: there is no public 'taxi rank', but vehicles are provided by a private hire firm.  :P

Aberdeen is the same - the airport puts the main rank out to tender and one firm will buy access to the entire rank. Of course, pre-booked cars can collect people from the pick up points, but for 'walk up' fares, you only have the choice of a single company.

Interestingly, Bridgend station is the similar - the drivers/company pay NR/ATW (I'm not sure which) for access to the 3 spaces directly outside the station doors, whereas there is a council taxi rank no more than 10m away on a public road where you can get much cheaper taxis...

Bicester Village does have multi-language signage.