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Sideshoots - associated subjects => The Lighter Side => Topic started by: bignosemac on August 05, 2017, 09:46:41 pm



Title: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: bignosemac on August 05, 2017, 09:46:41 pm
From the BBC (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-40836650):

Quote

Up to 24 tonnes of flour and 200 litres of diesel have been spilt across the M5 in a crash.

(https://ichef-1.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/146F6/production/_97220738_035f1046-e976-4b84-a8ce-fc5f1d60c514.jpg)

Previously-bagged flour was left strewn across the southbound carriageway in a collision between a lorry and a car towing a caravan at about 04:30 BST.

One lane remains closed between junctions 14 and 15 in Gloucestershire amid a clean-up operation.

Highways England said work to clear the flour, debris and fuel spillage will be completed overnight.

Wiltshire Police said there were no reports of serious injury.


Not quite sure why Wiltshire Police were issuing statements.

But not to worry, it's scone now. And I note it was on the southbound carriageway rather than yeastbound.

The delays were the last thing holidaymakers kneaded.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Timmer on August 05, 2017, 10:07:41 pm
Been an awful couple of days for holidaymakers using the M5. Yesterday Somerset today Gloucestershire on a motorway that's packed on summer weekends and that's without any accidents.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: trainer on August 05, 2017, 10:16:16 pm
But not to worry, it's scone now. And I note it was on the southbound carriageway rather than yeastbound.

The delays were the last thing holidaymakers kneaded.


Well done.  I always thought you were well bread.  ;D


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Four Track, Now! on August 05, 2017, 10:34:37 pm
The delays were the last thing holidaymakers kneaded.


That takes the biscuit!


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: chuffed on August 06, 2017, 06:05:36 am
The crash must have been hair raising even if the flour was only self raising.
Remember graded rains make finer flowers! With apologies to the funny little men in suits and bowler hats who never appeared to have any arms or legs.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: PhilWakely on August 06, 2017, 08:18:06 am
At least the authorities need not worry about a clean up operation, given the flour was self raising.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: SandTEngineer on August 06, 2017, 09:51:23 am
...I thought all of those jokes above are a bit Corny....


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Electric train on August 06, 2017, 01:31:11 pm
All they needed was a bit of starch to stiffen the mix and then it would be good to open to traffic  ;D


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Surrey 455 on August 06, 2017, 06:50:38 pm
All they needed was a bit of starch to stiffen the mix and then it would be good to open to traffic  ;D

Hmm... A new way to fix potholes? ;D


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: bignosemac on August 08, 2017, 11:54:48 pm
The BBC have edited the news item to attribute the police statement to the correct force, Avon & Somerset. Could do with also amending the location of the incident to South Gloucestershire.

A debate to be had about public bodies persisting with 'Avon' in their names. Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."



Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: grahame on August 09, 2017, 09:10:54 am
Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

Atrebatia Constabulary?   

http://www.atrebatia.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/atrebatia.uk/


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: TaplowGreen on August 09, 2017, 09:17:13 am
Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

Atrebatia Constabulary?   

http://www.atrebatia.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/atrebatia.uk/

Just leave it as Avon, I'm picturing the Police smashing a door down shouting "Avon calling"!


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Red Squirrel on August 09, 2017, 10:14:35 am
Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

Atrebatia Constabulary?   

http://www.atrebatia.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/atrebatia.uk/

Just leave it as Avon, I'm picturing the Police smashing a door down shouting "Avon calling"!


Or maybe Greater Bristol Constabulary - then people would actually know where it was!

Edit - fixed quote tags


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: John R on August 09, 2017, 10:19:21 am
I can imagine people in Yeovil being thrilled at being considered part of Greater Bristol.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Red Squirrel on August 09, 2017, 11:03:17 am
That's a fair point - south of Mendip is beyond Bristol's pale.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: bignosemac on August 09, 2017, 11:23:49 am
Keeping the Avon name but referring to the river, how about:

Avon River, Severn Estuary and Somerset Constabulary.

I'm sure an easy to remember acronym is there... 


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Bmblbzzz on August 09, 2017, 11:57:14 am
Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

Atrebatia Constabulary?   

http://www.atrebatia.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/atrebatia.uk/

Just leave it as Avon, I'm picturing the Police smashing a door down shouting "Avon calling"!
;D ;D ;D ;


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Bmblbzzz on August 09, 2017, 11:58:45 am
Could also be CUBA (Counties that Used to Be Avon). "Avon calling!" might Clash with CUBA; goes better with Nicaragua and the Sandanistas!


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Bmblbzzz on August 09, 2017, 12:01:49 pm
Serious answer: leave it as Avon & Somerset. It's descriptive, it's known, it's not too long or too silly or too focused on one place.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: patch38 on August 09, 2017, 02:38:52 pm

Not quite sure why Wiltshire Police were issuing statements.


Roads policing comes under the Tri Force Operations Unit which is a collaboration between Wiltshire, Avon & Somerset and Gloucestershire forces, so the original statement could well have come from the Wiltshire press office.

Evenin' all.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Bmblbzzz on August 09, 2017, 02:54:14 pm
So they're Somerset, Wiltshire, Avon, Gloucestershire: the SWAG Force!


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: chuffed on August 09, 2017, 10:43:41 pm
Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

Atrebatia Constabulary?   

http://www.atrebatia.co.uk
https://www.facebook.com/atrebatia.uk/

I'd like to see that tattooed on their truncheons !


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Four Track, Now! on August 11, 2017, 09:28:02 pm
Keeping the Avon name but referring to the river, how about:

Avon River, Severn Estuary and Somerset Constabulary.

I'm sure an easy to remember acronym is there... 

Finest Ubiquitous Constabulary Known...


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Western Pathfinder on August 11, 2017, 10:14:05 pm
!!!!.


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: chuffed on August 12, 2017, 07:01:40 am
I assume the standard greeting from the Tri Force operatives is 'Ello, 'Ello,'Ello, what 'ave we 'ere?"


Title: Re: One of many delays on the motorway network today, 5th August 2017
Post by: Chris from Nailsea on August 17, 2017, 12:41:39 am
A debate to be had about public bodies persisting with 'Avon' in their names. Perhaps rename the police force the, "Bristol, Somerset, Bath & North East Somerset, North Somerset, and South Gloucestershire Constabulary."

That wouldn't work, either: North Somerset Council would probably opt out (again).  ::)