Great Western Coffee Shop

Trainer,my good (well, he is, sometimes!) friend is on an ALR this week staying at the old station house in Beauly on an Air B&B booking. He is taking the Wick Wanderer today, so I have provided him with the Faroese translation of 'my hovercraft is full of eels' and the morse code for 'I am sinking'.....just in case.

Do be sure to equip him for the all-too-likely possibility that his postilion may be struck by lightning, or that his moose may swallow his aqualung - it happens, and he will need to be prepared.

Personally I have a huge vocabulary of what I tell the children are special motoring terms; sadly forum rules prevent me from listing them here.

When I read your warning about the postillion my heart leapt in fright ! I fired off a text post haste but forgot about the vagaries of predictive text. It duly arrived saying 'Your post illicit may be struck by lightning...... ;D

Of course...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-q6TcbHLE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-q6TcbHLE)

I think Gerard Hoffnung would have enjoyed this bon mot taken from his Wikipedia entry

'After leaving Highgate, Hoffnung studied at Hornsey College of Art, but was expelled for his lack of gravity in the life class'

Are you sure it wasn't his lack of gravity versus the barrel of bricks?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR0lWICH3rY

I recall a light-hearted leaflet that circulated among railway staff when the Channel tunnel opened.
It give English to French translations of such useful phrases as,

"Dear sir, this piece has dropped from your engine, would you like it back ?"
"The English train has been made sick by the French electricity"
"A bad English goose has killed the French train"