Great Western Coffee Shop

For those of you who dislike listies - nothing to see here, move on by.  For the rest of you, 14 Of The Worst Mistakes That Tourists Make In London (https://www.buzzfeed.com/josieayre1/mistakes-tourists-make-in-london) from Buzzfeed, many of them travel and transport related.

has Buzzfeed missed anything??

"2. Paying for singular tube trips, rather than getting an Oyster card."

Surely a singular tube trip is worth paying for?


They forgot "All London brothels display a blue lamp..." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-q6TcbHLE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sq-q6TcbHLE)

It's cheaper on an Oyster PAYG card....

15. Actually going to London. Get out and see the real United Kingdom.

A single journey is cheaper on an Oyster PAYG, yes, but a singular one... Maybe I missed off a smiley  ;)

Stopping at the top/bottom of an escalator to read a map/chat about life causing a 20 person pile up behind them

One particularly for Americans - only referring to street-names only by the first part. So asking directions to Oxford, Edgware or Liverpool could have unpredictable results.

Seeing 'Abbey Road' on the London Connections map without realising there are many of them and this one has no connection with the Beatles. Ditto Stratford for Shakespeare.

Knowing you are booked into the Hilton (or whatever), but don't know which one. This was experienced frequently by my uncle who was a London cab driver. Sometimes he could work out which was the most likely one but often he had to just tour round them.

Here's another one - going into a pub, sitting down and waiting for someone to come and take their order........

I'm surprised the Bard of East London didn't make the list.

You're not wrong - I gopt asked for directions to "Liverpool station" only the other day....I had to think for a moment, stood outside Moorgate station.

There is an official DLR poster at Abbey Road advising tourists that they're not in the correct location.  Of course it's full of Beatles puns.  At least, it was there Yesterday.

Asking for directions to "London Bridge" when circumstances suggest that they want tower bridge, the one that goes up and down.
Believing that HM the Queen lives in the Tower of London.

Presuming that draught beer that by foreign standards is warm, must therefore be weak in alcohol and hardly intoxicating. Australians are particularly liable to this, and can make great fools of themselves after 6 pints of London Pride or similar.

Not understanding that cider served in pubs is at least as alcoholic as beer. (in America and some other places, "cider" is what we call sparkling apple juice and is suitable for children. The alcoholic drink made from apples is known as "hard cider")

Slightly odd pronouncing of place names can have bizarre and expensive consequences when seeking directions or taking a taxi.
A London Cab driver looked in vain for "Holland pier"
A cab driver at Taunton station picked up a foreign gent who had just alighted from the London train and spent a long time looking for "Taunton Heath" sounds like a new housing estate perhaps, not yet on maps.

I think with pronunciation it's often a variation in stress, accenting the wrong syllables, that can have heel 'aryy us quince-scones.

I've seen an American couple do that in Long Ashton, never mind London.

But how about leaving it until 5 minutes before the train to buy a ticket to Stratford-on-Avon / Bath / The Cotswolds, where they may want to see a Broadway show.

Not London, but UK for Americans brave enough to hire a car and drive it on the left:

Assuming that the gas-station attendant is trying to fleece them for fuel.  No sir, it's not because you're American.  Our fuel costs that much for everyone.  That's why you see so many small cars on our roads.

Feeling like a bag of crisps, but ending up with some hot fried potatoes.

I happened to have taken a picture of a gas station a few days back in a remote part of the USA ... and converting prices from $ per US gallon to pence per litre, it costs just 52p per litre.

You could argue that everyone is fleeced in the UK for their fuel (though not by the gas station attendant) ... or you could argue that it's highly taxed for reasons including to help us make sensible use of a limited resource.

and when callers ring into radio bristol from LA it
took me ages to work out where in the radio bristol aerial LA was

With Graham's current sojourn in mind I am sure we could compile an equally entertaining thread of faux pas made by visitors to America.

Years ago my father was on a business trip to Iowa and was invited to dinner at one of his hosts' house.  He commented how "homely" the place was only to be greeted with a stunned silence.  Apparently "homely" translates to "pokey"!

And El Dub, which must be on the Tex-Mex border?!! :D

El Dub? I know zactly wur zat be.

Used to liv zur me babber din aye?

My former boss would occasionally ask after my movements for the day if I was wearing a suit instead of jeans and t-shirt. "Bristol Magistrates Court first, then I have to meet someone at the CPS."

If he had known that someone was Dave or that the venue was the Cotham Porter Stores, he might not have nodded so enthusiastically.

Just out of shot:
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article3360687.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/2_JK_BR_250919shopban-007JPG.jpg)
And they probably don't let the kids in there either!
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/cotham-school-banned-newsagents-shops-3358300

My daughter (aged 7 at the time) asking my then-American-girlfriend if she had a rubber ...

Or when we lived in the USA a fellow British expat female colleague doing her first aerobics class over there, at the end of one exercise session were ordered to land on their fanny.

"Godammit, Hutch", she said, "I damn near killed myself"!

For those from the USA its the bathroom,don't go anywhere the word Toilet.

Name me one place that better illustrates the  rich diversity of the United Kingdom in all its forms.That's a reality to be proud of.

Taunton? Melksham? Plymouth? :P

A member of the road crew of a fmous British player of keyboard instruments, on tour in the US and finding he was missing food from home when looking at the choice in the Native American casino that was the venue for that night's gig, could have chosen his words more carefully. Even said wistfully, "I could murder an Indian" caused a bit of an incident.
At least he didn't ask where he could find some faggots.

I had two faggots the other night.

Maybe apocryphal but I've heard a story of an American tourist turning up at Paddington and asking for a ticket to Turkey. The clerk advised them to go to Heathrow. The American says they've just flown in to Heathrow and staff at the airport said to come to Paddington because there are trains from there to Turkey. After some confusion, and the tourist mentioning the English Riviera, it dawned on the clerk that the American was wanting to go to Torquay.

Americans and British. Separated by an ocean and a common language.

I've heard this one attributed to Reading. It doesn't matter as long as you are not in the queue behind them trying to get a train that departs shortly.

 Being conned into taking the Heathrow Express when the Underground would be vastly cheaper and not much slower for many journeys. It must be pretty annoying for those who find themselves completing their journey by Underground to see Heathrow on the map and realise they could have used it from the start.

I've made the fag mistake in the US. And I don't even smoke! I also recall being puzzled by the word 'dumpster'; it sounds such an active word it was hard for me to interpret it as simply a rubbish skip.

#MeToo.


I recall something in the newspapers some time back where someone actually ended up in the wrong Turkey, the accidental visitor to the English Rivieera being Japanese rather than American. She was quoted as saying she had been through the channel tunnel, and was impressed by the speed of getting through it. The train she was found to have been on had gone via Box. Given that we have examples of Sloane rangers missing a festival at Leeds Castle after giving imprecise instructions to the taxi driver and not noticing that it was taking a long time to get to Kent, we should not be surprised.

30 years ago giving a £10 note to a booking clerk at Green Park.

WARNING _ THREAD DRIFT ALERT!


... or my favorite, the Sloane Ranger who decided she would like to see a football match at Stamford Bridge and ended up at the site of the battlefield site just east of York.

While not involving London (hence alert above) - there's the old story of the passenger who rang BR enquiries asking for details of how to get to Goring. When the clerk asked "By Sea?", the passenger responded "no, by train, that's why I rang British Rail enquiries".

And there's the occasion someone rang asking for train times to Edmunds. Having been asked several times to confirm the name of the destination, the irate caller volunteered - "No, it's Edmunds. The address I am trying to get to is in Bury Street, Edmunds!"

The Japanese couple who bought  tickets in advance for the trip to Baff at Kings Cross(EASTERN REGION)

and boarded one of the London Paddington to Bath trains.

Can't blame the ticket office as they thought they said they wanted tickets to Brough near Hull

In a similar vein, but at a tangent to the thread topic, on Bath station I once overheard a very angry American tourist who had just got off a stopping train from Salisbury. Apparently he was at Waterloo and asked how to get to Bath and was told to change at Salisbury, when perhaps the booking Clerk at Waterloo should have told him to go to Paddington and get a fast train from there.

THis was back in BR days when inter-TOC rivalry wouldn't have been am issue, but perhaps BR inter-regional rivalry still was...

Sounds more like a mischievous booking clerk to me...……..I used to work at the Travel Centre next door.

On the other hand, I think it was "Which?" that criticised the advice given to them at Paddington for the cheapest fare to Bath, which at the time of day would have been to go via Waterloo, and this was not offered.

Surely the rule is that the booking clerk is only required to offer the cheapest fare from that actual station? 

In an ideal world, the booking clerk would tell the passenger that the quickest way is to go to Paddington which would take X minutes and cost £A, but if they wanted a cheaper fare they could go via Salisbury which would take X +Y minutes but cost £A-B.

That's easy to say though when you are sat on the sofa with one eye on Strictly, not so easy when you are in front of someone who has just got to the front of a long queue and wants a quick answer and the queue behind them is growing as you speak

(Apologies for prolonging the thread drift!)

You mean there's another Long Ashton somewhere else in the world? ;D

I had to cringe listening today, from several seats away, to an obviously stressed FGW guard being what I considered to be rude, but perhaps others would merely refer to as "less than helpful," to a lone American traveller (I suppose I should really refer to him as a "traveler" come to think of it) on a train between Romsey and Salisbury. On being asked for his ticket, said American presented an Oyster card and apologised for not having found anywhere to tap in. The guard rather shortly said those aren't valid outside of London and asked where he was going, and on receiving the reply "Stonehenge" said "well that's in the middle of nowhere so you'll have to get off at Salisbury" followed by "no I have no idea what you do at Salisbury, look for a bus or something I suppose". The gentleman was quite sanguine about it and happily paid cash to cover the trip, but I was left feeling a bit sorry for him and thinking it could have been handled a little more sympathetically.

It struck me that this sort of thing probably happens quite often - hence the exasperation on the part of the guard, I suppose. In which case why isn't it made clearer to the occasional traveller that Oyster cards aren't valid on certain journeys? Maybe on the on-board destination displays?

Don't worry about that ... one of the moderators or admins can split the thread if need be (I dare not with the current poor connection)


Interesting one ... yes, that's a very good answer.   Bath Spa to London (like Melksham to London) ... choice of route is an interesting one, and for me depends on where in London I want to be.  For someone at Waterloo, especially with significant luggage - perhaps the answer is "easiest and cheapest way from here is via Salisbury. It will cost you more and be a far less easy change, but be slightly quicker, if you go via Paddington".


I would argue that the complex fares and ticketing system is pretty darned hard to explain to people brought up in the same country as the system, let alone overseas visitors.   And that it's going to be impractical for train managers to know about connections to tourist spots.   At the very least, however, a far better answer would have been "Stonehenge is not near any station - I suggest you get out at Salisbury and ask at the ticket barrier" .... and I suspect that the barrier people would be very familiar with directing people to the bus on Station Approach.

I've been to both major LAs. The cider is better in Long Ashton.

And why did the foolish English build Stonehenge so far from a station ? In America, it would have been built near a station.
Likewise, why on earth did they build Windsor Castle under the flight path to a major airport ? very poor planning.

And as for Oxford airport being so far from Oxford street, simply daft.

and who would build a railway line straight through a castle?

Come to think of it, how far did you say London Luton airport is from actual London?

According to Google Maps it is 34 Miles
Stansted on the other hand is 40 miles

Robert Stephenson - at Conwy?

Why do those from the other side of the pond think public transport(the train) should be nearer our heritage sites(Stonehenge).

In LA they don't even have pavements as the car always rules.

I beg to differ, as one who has been one of only two non-white pedestrians in some of the grand boulevards, and made it perfectly safely to our destination, usually faster than by any other means. We used the almost deserted Metro, at the price for the freedom the greater Los Angeles area, including tram to Pasadena and bus to Santa Monica etc, of a single journey on the bus from Bishopston to Broadmead if you know Bristol.

If you meant Long Ashton, then no, there is no pavement worth talking of from the main drag to the Miners Rest up Providence Lane. You take your life in your very hands, especially given how much cider gets served up there.

And there's a tunnel right under Rattenberg Castle in Austria. It's on the main line to Zurich from Salzburg. Even though it's a busy line, and there are footpaths to the castle either side, it was entirely unfenced when I was there 20 years ago.

I haven't bothered to check, but I think at one time there may have been a proposal to build a civilian railway to Stonehenge. Certainly in 1917 the Larkhill Military Railway (https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wiltshireatwar.org.uk%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2015%2F09%2FImage-9-LMR-Sketch-of-Line.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.wiltshireatwar.org.uk%2Fstory%2Fhow-military-camps-saved-some-wiltshire-villages-from-extinction%2F&tbnid=iNaWsiS0eShC-M&vet=12ahUKEwi1t8KZm63mAhVDwoUKHXwrBL4QMygAegUIARDVAQ..i&docid=PH0Lt_jdjrxAqM&w=1493&h=915&q=larkhill%20military%20railway&ved=2ahUKEwi1t8KZm63mAhVDwoUKHXwrBL4QMygAegUIARDVAQ) was extended to Stonehenge Airfield.

One of various images of the airfield. (http://www.wiltshireatwar.org.uk/story/stonehenge-airfield-during-wwi/)

Going on to a Tube platform and not moving along the platform. I saw an extreme case of this at Paddington on Friday. A loudspeaker plea for people to move along, otherwise access to the platform might have to be closed, was mostly ignored. No doubt when the train came in people had difficulties boarding.

I walked to the far end of the platform (my usual spot when I commuted to Lambeth North) where there was lots of space and a reasonable amount of room on the last carriage, albeit only for standing. (People do this on Bournemouth beach, arriving on the esplanade and crowding onto a couple of square yards of empty shingle; if they bothered to walk east for eight minutes or so they would usually have far more space.)

A small part of my Government Department's job was to arrange tours for overseas journalists, business people and the like. Headquarters put three such people, with very poor English, on a train at Paddington and told them to get off at Reading. In those days it was called Reading General and when this was announced the trio decided to stay on - and ended up in Bristol, where somehow they had to be rescued.

I wonder how many visitors have gone to Buckingham to see the Palace and to Downton to see the Abbey?

Marlburian

I can just about imagine a roofed over Stonehenge being about the right shape for a very large prehistoric helicopter pad, but I don’t think it would be much good for fixed wing stuff...   ;D

A few years back I noticed a book called The Megalithic Empire (https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_Megalithic_Empire.html?id=14JxMAEACAAJ&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y) in the library. It varies from usefully questioning archaeological orthodoxies to crackpot, incorporating a few basic mistakes of easily verified fact along the way (such as the relationship between the Biblical Anne and Mary), but its basic premise is that Stonehenge and similar stone circles were not "used for ritual purposes" but were trade centres, the focus of long distance trade routes and operating as a sort of market and distribution centre. Something like a market with accompanying bus station. But they never suggested a helicopter pad!

And perhaps a bit less well known, visited Leeds to see the famous Castle.

I know someone who was stopped in Bolton town centre and asked directions to the Abbey!

Not just tourists but several local people used to make the mistake of getting on the Loddon Bridge park and ride route in Reading, not even questioning the price of the fare, and find themselves in a huge car park under a motorway on the edge of town, next to the bridge over the River Loddon, instead of the metropolis up the road. This used to happen at least once a month in the three years I spent driving the route, even more often once the national concessions pass arrived. The confusion wouldn't happen until the last minute of the journey as the route leaves town by the London Road and even joins the (ex) motorway towards the M4 before leaving one junction later.
Once a chap in a range rover even dropped off two teenage girls at the bus stop at Loddon Bridge and drove off. They then just walked onto the bus without even looking at me and sat themselves down. I asked if they were going to pay and they told me under 16's don't pay in London! Dad probably wasn't too happy to come back and get them.
The route goes to another car park nearby now called Winnersh Triangle so the fun has come to an end for the current crew.

A farming neighbour has two American students staying with him, free accommodation in return for work.

They expressed great surprise that "hard liquor" could be purchased without any ID.
That private possession of handguns is unknown.

Very perplexed at the suggestion that a "boilersuit" should be worn for farm work. Seemed to think that was some fireproof garment, not what they call a coverall.
And more puzzled by my suggestion that an "overall coat" might also be useful "what is that" they enquired, and I replied that I was wearing one. "That looks much too big" I explained that they come in other sizes, not just broadgage sized.

Shocked that no clothes dryer was provided.
And no central heating. Not even electric blankets.
Did not understand duvets either, and disliked them after use was explained.

And seemed astonished at a bull mating cows ! All done by artificial insemination back home.

Depends where though, and of course how old you are. The law says you need to be 18, so retailers extend this to "Challenge 25" which gets interpreted at the till as "anyone under 40 needs to prove their age".

I know someone (in the UK) whose job used to include collecting pig semen for artificial insemination. She described this task in terms probably unfit to be used on this forum.

Overall coats, coveralls, and Wellington boots now supplied. Also top sheets and wool blankets for beds.

Tumble dryer=no way, too much electricity used.
Central heating, no way.

Riding a horse on public roads, possibly after some practice on private property.

Still perplexed by the bull. How does he know which cows to mate ? what stops him escaping and mating other cows ? What stops the herd becoming inbred by use of the same bull ? What if he mates too many cows ?

The farmer and myself assured them that cattle were kept and bred successfully long before AI was invented.

Quite a bit is done that way here too. I'm not kidding - straight up, no bull.