Great Western Coffee Shop

(https://drive.google.com/uc?id=1izY3mLXr3bESHKTiSUljYBlPd5YssGCq)
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OK, so I failed English Language O'Level three times before finally passing it, but should this not read "Station FOR the Glastonbury Festival"
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Surely, in GWR-speak, it would be Glastonbury Road?

Station of the Glastonbury Festival suggests sponsorship. Something along the lines of "Hula Hoops are the official snack of the England cricket team," though in this case I'm not sure if it's a case of "GWR is the official railway of Glastonbury Festival" or "Glastonbury is the official festival of GWR". Okay, in reality it's more likely to be Glastonbury Festival organisers paying for some colourful signs (and in the case of this photo, a rainbow!) and maybe some hanging baskets or maybe more appropriately boot scrapers.

(And just to be really pedantic:
Is O'Level an Irishman from Somerset? Maybe U2 or the Waterboys playing at Glastonbury!  ;) )

Perhaps we should ask the Department of Transport... or the Department for Transport, as it is now...

(http://www.wellho.net/pix/rftws_01.jpg)

Now ... me thinks that an "Overbridge to Bath and Bristol" is going to be a very long bridge from Trowbridge.  Perhaps proper English should be "Over the bridge for trains to Bath Spa and Bristol"

More correct still, possibly almost within Rees-Mogg bounds, could be "A bridge over the railway tracks to access the platform for trains towards Bristol and Bath". But I think signmakers charge by the word.

A Trowbridge too far?  ???

Paul

In signage, good English (other languages are available) is that which quickly, clearly and concisely conveys an unambiguous meaning.

Some readers may lament it, but 'Train Station' can only mean one thing. Similarly the meaning of 'There will be less trains on Monday due to engineering work' is crystal-clear, though grammar Nazis will wince and insist that it should be 'fewer'.

Words are living things. Journeys no longer have to take a day, butt-dialling is a thing, and friend is a verb...

...and 'Cross bridge for trains to Bristol and Bath' would have been more clear.

How do you train a station?  To do what?

In the same vein............. 'Time flies'

..... like an arrow;
..... with a stopwatch;
..... do not eat herbs.

etc, etc

FTFY  :D

Happy days.

Anyone remember 'Daktari', starring Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion? Imagine how we chortled at school, when they asked us to sing a song about Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear.

Slightly more modernly, I struggled with the Moody Blues smash hit "Question", until many years later I read the lyrics, and found they were singing about "the secrets of our souls".

In my teaching days as a junior school teacher who played the piano, I took hymn practice on a Thursday morning. The last one of term was always 'requests'....and I always remember one little girl who asked for 'Lord of the damn settee....!. I think she was referring to her older brother who always wanted to be on the sofa with his x box....... ;D

The use of the American alphabet song confuses some young children over "ellemnopee" not taking it in as five separate letters.

Oh, deep joy: we are straying back to the Misheard Lyrics feature on Noel Edmonds' Radio 1 Breakfast Show in the 1970s. A random selection that remain lodged in the dark recesses of my mind include:

Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody - "Spare him his life from his pork sausage tea" and, of course, "Beelzebub has a devil for a sideboard".

Kenny Rogers - Lucille - "Four hundred children and a cr*p in the field".

Gene Cotton - Me and the Elephant - "We went down to the city zoo, just to kill an owl or two".

Carpenters - "The best love songs are written with a broken arm".

And so many more that are now legendary...

There was also apparently some consternation in a music shop caused by the pronunciation of the Hungarian  composer Zoltan Kodaly's surname (it's pronounced without the "l".... more like "Kodai").

Evidently there was some frantic searching around the stockroom when a customer requested a popular L.P. of the time called "Could I but express in song?" but the shop assistant went off to search desperately for Kodaly's Buttock Pressing Song.

The Police - So Lonely - "Sue Lawley, Sue Lawley, Sue Lawley..."
Sister Sledge - We Are Family - "Just let me staple the vicar."
Eurythmics - Sweet Dreams - "Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am I to diss a Brie?"
Elton John - Tiny Dancer - "Hold me closer, Tony Danza."
Chic - Le Freak - "Ahh free cow. Le Freak say sheep."

"Excuse me, while I kiss this guy" - James Marshall Hendrix, Purple Haze

The linguist's term for misheard lyrics is mondegreens.  (https://www.ucl.ac.uk/pals/research/linguistics/linguistics-research/laboratory-language-and-speech-diversions/llsd-public)

Gotta say though the only ones I recognize above are Bohemian Rhapsody, Sweet Dreams and of course Purple Haze. The last one even makes sense, almost, in context.

Canadian National Anthem

O Canada, we stand on cars and freeze....instead of we stand on guard for thee....

And from Louis Armstrong 'the bright blessed day and the dog said goodnight' from what a wonderful world......
 .....and didn't Ol' Blue eyes sing about the 'girl from Empheysema.....'

 The story behind the origin of mondegreens is interesting in itself, but this thread is in danger of going completely off topic! ;D

Oh yes, the topic...

...a hazelnut in every post!

What's got a hazelnut in every bite? Squirrel poo!

"Give us this day our daily bread cancellation"

As we are getting towards the season of goodwill:

Land of soap and water

Three shepherds washed their socks, etc.

Or, as we were taught ............ 'Land of soaps and Tories'

We should also not ignore the correct use of capital letters, so wantonly disregarded in this modern age of self-identified grammar. After all, they are the only thing between helping your Uncle Jack off a camel, and helping your uncle jack off a camel.