Title: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on August 25, 2024, 17:07:42 From the BBC (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c75n1y7gqz5o)
Quote Kirstie Allsopp has told the BBC she felt "sick" after being contacted by social services for allowing her 15-year-old son to go interrailing around Europe. On Monday, the broadcaster wrote on social media that her son had returned from three weeks travelling abroad with another teenage friend, and without parental supervision. Allsopp said she was "profoundly shocked" when Kensington and Chelsea Council informed her the matter had been referred to social services shortly after she discussed it on X, formerly Twitter. A spokesperson for the council said its "absolute priority" was the safety of children. Allsopp's son travelled to Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Marseille, Toulouse, Barcelona, and Madrid with a 16-year-old friend earlier this summer. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: stuving on August 25, 2024, 17:21:17 There's been a burst of letter-writing to the Times and Sunday Times on much the same topic, which got a bit competitive about "I was younger than you when I ...". Two examples I saw sounded well outside the norm even for the date they happened.
First Rodney Goodwin, who went with two friends on a four-day camping punt trip along the Thames in 1952. They were aged 14, 12 and 11. Then there was Johnny Cameron who, from the age of eight in 1962, went to and from boarding school in Broadstairs by sleeper from Inverness, underground, and another train from Victoria. I suspect in both cases there might have been some monitoring of what they were up to, or at least whether they had gone missing, that they might not have been not aware of at the time. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Oxonhutch on August 25, 2024, 18:00:02 I look to my youthful adventures, a three speed bike and a fitness I no longer possess, and say "Thank God!"
Made my childhood and gave me great life experiences. Does the Isle of Man classify as abroad? Magic time. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: PhilWakely on August 25, 2024, 18:19:04 I was just about to leave my pre-teen years in the mid-1960s when I embarked on my first solo adventure, but that was just to London for the day by train from Exeter Central. Times, though, have changed and I would not let my grandchildren go out with friends of their own age without adult supervision in this country - let alone abroad.
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: GBM on August 25, 2024, 19:06:37 I do remember Dad taking me to London from Kingswear (well Dartmouth actually) on the overnight train.
He had an interview there the next day. We went underground to one of the termini with an overbridge. Left me there telling me not to move far from there and he'd be back by noon. Think I was around 7 or 8. Just an adventure for me. I felt safe and happy watching trains. Wouldn't allow our grandchildren to do that these days. Pre teens I would be given a 7 day rover in the school holidays from Dartmouth, and left to my own devices all day, returning around dark. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Chris from Nailsea on August 25, 2024, 19:30:16 Quote Allsopp's son travelled to Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Marseille, Toulouse, Barcelona, and Madrid with a 16-year-old friend earlier this summer. Blimey! :o That's a rather impressive itinerary, for a couple of unaccompanied teenagers: well done to them, I say. 8) Continuing with my possibly contentious view: what actually is the issue here? Is it just about age? The age of consent (for sexual activity) in the UK is 16 (in the Vatican City it's 14) but the minimum age for marriage is 18. In the UK, the minimum age to buy alcohol, or watch pornography, is 18, but in some states in the USofA, it's 21. If Kirstie Allsopp, who clearly knows him better than Kensington and Chelsea Council, is comfortable that her son is sensible enough to undertake such an adventure - good luck, I say. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on August 25, 2024, 19:38:23 Times have changed ... I was travelling alone by train from very early, to school in the London 'burbs. Think I must have learned early - even in those days I knew the alternatives if there was a problem. Line through Sydenham Hill shut, walk to Gypsy Hill. Line to Petts Wood shut, use St Mary Cray. No trains running, 227 from Crystal Palace to Chiselhust Common and the 61 or 161A). It wouldn't be the same these days of course as London no longer has any bus routes with an "A" on the end.
Always travelled, often alone. First alone, abroad was probable at the age of 12 or 13. Very used to rover tickets and overnight trains. Rarely in a sleeper. But times have changed; Lisa was a bit shocked and my letting Chris and Kim travel when she moved over, but there are personal element that are having me hold back further comment in public. The USA is a different world. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Chris from Nailsea on August 25, 2024, 20:11:36 Looking at the vote results so far, I'm rather clearly in a minority. :-X
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: ChrisB on August 25, 2024, 20:28:42 Quote Allsopp's son travelled to Paris, Brussels, Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich, Marseille, Toulouse, Barcelona, and Madrid with a 16-year-old friend earlier this summer. Blimey! :o That's a rather impressive itinerary, for a couple of unaccompanied teenagers: well done to them, I say. 8) Continuing with my possibly contentious view: what actually is the issue here? Is it just about age? Pretty much. Accusations flying all over x/Twitter of 'neglect'. Many pointing out that there isn't actually any set law as to whether you can or can't - depends totally on the details of the case....but it seems that the posts on twitter are in a majority of saying 'no way, Jose'....most before 18, never mind 16. Kirsty's lad was a couple of weeks shy of 16 though. One could say that with modern communications, it is safer now than it was a decade or more ago. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Chris from Nailsea on August 25, 2024, 21:11:39 Thanks for your comments, ChrisB :)
I agree that, with the aid of modern technology (mobile phones and all) it's probably safer for youngsters to venture abroad these days. But what magical gift are they apparently given, on their eighteenth birthday, which suddenly enables them to do so many things they wouldn't have been allowed to do, yesterday? ??? Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: JayMac on August 25, 2024, 23:14:02 My mum would send me to the shop, about 3/4 mile away, aged 7, to get staples such as bread, milk and 20 Dunhill, in exchange for a 10p mix-up of sweets.
We'd play quite far from home at that age too. Down by the River Tone. Mum would say, "If you drown I'll kill you." Out all day during the holidays. Always home for tea. If we didn't come home by tea time we wouldn't get any. Aged 10 I was going on train trips to Bristol and Devon, usually with a friend the same age, but occasionally on my own. I went to Paddington alone aged 12. There were some boundaries though. Aged 13 I wasn't allowed to go and see Queen at Wembley or Knebworth with friends in 1986. Mum and stepdad said I could see them on their next tour. Queen (with Freddie & John Deacon) never toured again. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: broadgage on August 26, 2024, 08:09:42 Presuming a teenager of reasonable intelligence and maturity, then in my view overseas travel at 15 is fine. Travel broadens the mind and should be encouraged from a relatively young age.
I cant agree with those who state that it " might have been acceptable in the past, but not these days, the world has changed" Has the world changed much ? have sexual or other attacks actually increased ? or do we simply hear more about such crimes. The general availability of cellphones is a considerable advantage not available in my youth. I have no faith in a mobile phone in case of sudden violent attack or robbery, but they are most useful in case of transport breakdowns or delays etc. I am in favour of raising children under free range conditions. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: TaplowGreen on August 26, 2024, 08:42:38 https://youtu.be/VKHFZBUTA4k
;) Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on August 26, 2024, 08:49:35 Presuming a teenager of reasonable intelligence and maturity, then in my view overseas travel at 15 is fine. Travel broadens the mind and should be encouraged from a relatively young age. I agree with you, and it's what my parents did for me and what I did for my children. Would it happen at the next generation? I don't know and I am being very careful about posting concerning my grandchilren, the oldest of whom is just a couple of years younger than Kirsty's. It comes down to the individual child, and the trip planned. Now - putting myself in the shoes of a concerned neighbour of Kirsty, would I report a safety concern about a neighbour or contact? I have done so, twice, though in both cases with regards an old man living alone. On one occasion, it turned out he was in hospital and on the other he was found passed away when the police broke in. And just this week, a neighbour was furious with me because he thought I had called the authorities on him; in fact it wasn't me and the threshold for concern had been far from met, one element of which would have been to go round and check / ask myself first. I have been on the other end of this too. I have had a knock at the front door and on answering it had my "rights" read to me, telling me that is what had been reported (damaging unauthorised works to a listed building) I could go to prison for six months. Interestingly within earshot of a class of delegates I was training in the main reception room. And, like Kirsty is reported as being, I was shocked and disturbed. We each have our own threshold of reporting and won't always get it right. We do know who reported us as even when this one turned out to be "no case" she was reporting us for other things, and did have us caught out for putting an 11m3 outbuilding in the grounds of our listed home when the limit for a listed building such s ours was not the normal 15m3 but 10m3. We got to know the lady who read me my rights very well - met her at a regional conference 15 years later and in all the people we know, we spoke on very friendly first name terms. But her initial approach, dictated I'm sure as a standard procedure, upset me - and the phone call she took a minute or two later from her office to confirm she was safe indicated perhaps just how upset people can get. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: CyclingSid on August 26, 2024, 11:29:06 Yes times have changed in 40, 50 or more years. I was recently thinking about the son of a neighbour, largely constrained by parents concern.
Myself by a similar age I got myself to school on Hayling, initially by bus and then walked. No problems apart from detouring via the sea shore and best quality Chichester Harbour mud on the way home. Later my friend and I were allowed to go where we wanted within the island. Later Havant station became a home from home, once I could name every stop on the Waterloo slow I used to be allowed to do the announcements. Boarding school meant train etc across to either side of Brighton. The heavy stuff went PLA (another thing long consigned to history). By this time holidays could mean a trip with my friend to Waterloo and Plymouth. The other change of course is school leaving age, at 16 your mum didn't take you to work, did she? Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: broadgage on August 26, 2024, 11:41:05 In a recent job we had a trainee/apprentice who WAS taken to work by his mother ! and whom was not allowed to wash his overalls in the washing machine provided but had to to take them home for "mum to do them nicely"
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Marlburian on August 26, 2024, 12:09:50 I recall with some embarrassment returning to school aged 17 in March 1963 accompanied by my father. We lived in Sidmouth then, and he normally drove to collect and deliver me at the end and beginning of term. But in one of the worst winters for years the roads were covered in snow. Quite how we drove to Honiton Station (up a long hill and down a steeper one) I don't know. (Seven years later I was driving my Mini Countryman going via the supposedly less-risky route via Ottery St Mary when it skidded on ice across the road, hitting a bank and toppling over.)
We got to Andover, where we had an 80-minute wait for the Marlborough connection in a poorly-lit and chilly waiting-room, where we were joined by unaccompanied school-mates. By the time we got on the Marlborough train it was dark, so I was unable to appreciate the route that I was to explore several times after its closure. I would like to think that it wasn't so much a matter of my needing to be looked after, more how on my own I could handle a large trunk and smaller "brewbox" (as we termed tuck boxes). On arrival in Marlborough there was a mile-long walk to the college (I think that my luggage must have been collected later.) And poor old dad then had to return to Sidmouth ... Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: johnneyw on August 26, 2024, 12:12:49 It's possible, I think, that some of the concerns that lay behind the Kirsty Allsop incident were to some degree generated by the recent tragic events on Tenerife.
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Mark A on August 26, 2024, 12:52:31 Sorry all that happened. Rather than a confrontational doorstep meeting, I'm surprised the standard procedure wasn't risk assessed and amended to have the initial contact by letter or phone call. Also, reading you your rights while you were running a professional workshop... er...
And for the rest... yes, the need for circumspection understood and from first person experience, if anyone meets with 'A situation' and finds they need someone to talk things through afterwards for their own benefit, one point of call is your GP who will be aware of various support resources - and sometimes an individual finds that just the act of asking for support is positive benefits them. Mark Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on August 26, 2024, 12:55:31 In a recent job we had a trainee/apprentice who WAS taken to work by his mother ! and whom was not allowed to wash his overalls in the washing machine provided but had to to take them home for "mum to do them nicely" Helicopter parents are a nightmare to an employer - I remember a call from one formidable lady who was doing her daughter an enormous disservice and another who didn't stay with us long when she called in to make herself unavailable at short notice because she had to help dad. And, yes, I have encountered some great parents of younger staff too. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on August 26, 2024, 13:02:42 Sorry all that happened. Rather than a confrontational doorstep meeting, I'm surprised the standard procedure wasn't risk assessed and amended to have the initial contact by letter or phone call. Also, reading you your rights while you were running a professional workshop... er... Oh - I'm sure it was risk assessed, judging by the phone call she got a minute later from a colleague to check if she was OK. I suspect that they wanted to take me by surprise rather than provide an opportunity to hide - well, we had nothing to hide. "Come in - I'm sure there's been some sort of mistake here" and (to class) "you probably heard that. Please take a few minutes break while I sort this out". But, yes, I was shocked and put off my stride a little - not a lot because I have had an awful lot thrown unexpected at me over time. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: johnneyw on August 26, 2024, 15:05:48 My parents would have not let either of us on such a foreign trip at that age but were happy for us to set out on various Youth Hostelling adventures around England and Wales, usually getting there and back by public transport. Happy memories.
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: LiskeardRich on August 26, 2024, 15:23:23 It isn’t as straight forward as it first looked.
The lad has left school, but being an august baby hasn’t reached his birthday yet. Are august babies stopped from doing other things when they leave school like getting a job? Most employers require to be 16? Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: broadgage on August 26, 2024, 15:23:47 In this particular cases, what were the arrangements for overnight accommodation ? Most budget hotels have a minimum age of 18, or at the most 16 for unaccompanied children.
Do youth hostels take younger persons than that, and do they have youth hostels in the places visited. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: TaplowGreen on August 26, 2024, 15:47:57 I don't think it's beyond the bounds of possibility that the Honourable Kirsty Allsopp (daughter of the 6th Baron Hindlip) and a prominent supporter of the Conservative party has been the victim of politically motivated mischief in terms of someone reporting her to Social Services?
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: ChrisB on August 26, 2024, 15:50:26 She has been taken to task by those in the Trans community for her views, for sure.
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: TaplowGreen on August 26, 2024, 16:03:08 She has been taken to task by those in the Trans community for her views, for sure. ..............and now those in the trains community are discussing her! Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: grahame on September 05, 2024, 03:22:12 This poll concluded a few days ago - showing widely varied views amongst our members as to whether children under [16] should be allowed to travel (long distance) alone or with friends of their own generation.
I was in "Dad, may I ..." situation with both of my children at an age when it was clear that parental permission was required and there was not going to be an obvious answer. And in both clear first trip cases having listened to the request and the planning behind it, it was a "yes' though not without some natural worry. Both had known destinations and contacts there and had the initial trips been Interrailing without detailed / advanced plans and checks, the initial answer might have been more cautious. Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Ralph Ayres on September 05, 2024, 16:26:58 In a way my main reservation is the perceived need to go abroad at that age, with all the extra things that could go wrong and extra barriers such as language to contend with if they do, but even a UK trip would have been difficult for this pair to make. The English Youth Hostel Association now has a policy that children under the age of 16 must be accompanied by a person who is 18 years or older. The tightening of rules came in rather frustratingly just as my son reached a level of maturity that I'd have been quite happy for him and friends of a similar age go unaccompanied on an overnight trip, and staying in a Youth Hostel was in my view the safest and most rewarding way of doing it but their age barred it.
Title: Re: Allsopp felt 'sick' after social services referral Post by: Oxonhutch on September 05, 2024, 17:48:15 The tightening of rules came in rather frustratingly just as my son reached a level of maturity that I'd have been quite happy for him and friends of a similar age go unaccompanied on an overnight trip, and staying in a Youth Hostel was in my view the safest and most rewarding way of doing it but their age barred it. My Youth Hostelling started at 14 which I consider a valuable part of my childhood. They've taken the Youth out of Hostel! This page is printed from the "Coffee Shop" forum at http://gwr.passenger.chat which is provided by a customer of Great Western Railway. Views expressed are those of the individual posters concerned. Visit www.gwr.com for the official Great Western Railway website. Please contact the administrators of this site if you feel that content provided contravenes our posting rules ( see http://railcustomer.info/1761 ). The forum is hosted by Well House Consultants - http://www.wellho.net |