Warning - Pedant alert

[whole diary]

[Chris from Nailsea]

That's an interesting sign of the times, in a manner of speaking: 'members of staff' at Sainsbury or Tesco stores are 'colleagues'; at John Lewis and Waitrose they are 'partners'. 

[JayMac]

So, a similar sign in Waitrose may well say, "Please contact a partner" then?

Your significant other? A business partner? Your Bridge partner? Your Latin/Ballroom partner? 

[grahame]

Who do students, the retired or those not in work contact?

It says "a" colleague rather than your colleague. So it's an instruction to contact any person who's employed by a company with at least two members of staff.

[trainer]

Remember, John Lewis and it's associated Waitrose are literally and probably legally 'partnerships', so all who work in them are partners who share ownership of the business. I agree though that it is possible to misconstrue this - as I am want to do for a smile.

Today a sign outside a Reading shop read, "Everything Must Go".  There was no caveat that a purchase was expected.

(I am not writing this from a police cell  )

[Brucey]

I like the way Sainsbury's head the sign "Customer Information".  So if you're a shoplifter, and therefore not a customer, there is no need to contact a colleague.

[Red Squirrel]

The one that really throws me is Ikea, where staff are 'coworkers'. Leaving aside the fact that they are not MY co-workers, I read this modishly unpunctuated word as 'cow orkers' and I find myself wondering just how one might go about orking a cow. Is it even legal?

[swrural]

In IKEA Eastville, which I visited once (never again) they force you to walk around the entire shop, every floor, in order to get out of the dump.  We asked an attendant what on earth would happen if there was a fire.

She replied with what was clearly a prepared and rehearsed speech (spooky or what?).

"Me and my co-workers are trained to enable exit of all customers within 3 minutes of an alarm".

I looked at her in astonishment.  'Pardon?' I stuttered.

"Me and my co-workers are trained to enable exit of all customers within 3 minutes of an alarm" she repeated.

'But what if there was a fog of fumes and....'

I won't write out what followed, I think you can guess.

Disregarding the poor grammar, this is organised Bedlam.  We eventually got out via the canteen and with help of a rebel 'co-worker' who unlocked a back door for us, although we ended up in a ghastly undercroft of the car park.

To think I once stood on those terraces and sang 'Good Night Irene;  (sob).

[swrural]

You too RS?

[TonyK]

I read this modishly unpunctuated word as 'cow orkers' and I find myself wondering just how one might go about orking a cow.

Hmm. I know someone who may be able to explain horse daubing, if that is the same sort of thing. I have other things on my mind though, having withdrawn to my country abode in Devon for a few days. My attention was drawn to a sign outside a farm "Free Range Eggs". What a con - the farmer wanted ^2 a dozen, and the so-called Range Eggs look just like normal ones.

Back in shops, there is a phrase uttered by assistants that irks me greatly, mainly because it is used when said assistant has something more interesting to do that serve you:-

"I'll be with you now, Sir".

Makes no sense at all. "I am with you now", "I will be with you soon", "I was with you then", even "Sod off, I'm ignoring you" all display logic. "I'll be with you now" - pah!

[Phil]

I find myself wondering just how one might go about orking a cow. Is it even legal?

 

Thanks for that, a good old hoot of genuine LOL^▸ (laughing out loud) is just the ticket after a long day 

[swrural]

I wrote 'spooky' but RS and I really crossed with our posts.  It came up 'someone else has posted etc' but I thought 'they cannot possibly be on the same subject'.

[TonyK]

Spooky indeed!

Many years ago, when my children were in fact children, they saw  a newspaper headline in the hoarding outside the newsagent, courtesy of that day's Evening Post:-

"Bishop in sex quiz quits"

My pedant side immediately kicked in, and before long we could see a scenario whereby Bamber Gascoigne or Magnus Magnusson would be asking the questions:-

BG^▸ (Brake Gangway (carriage)) or MM: "For five points, my Lord Bishop, and the chance to win a teapot, what is the correct name for the spherical parts of the male genitalia?"

Right Reverend Bishop: "That's it, I've had enough. I'm off".

[swrural]

As tomorrow is a TGIF (in abbs grahamE?) perhaps we could have a competition for 'most asinine moment while travelling anecdote competition'.  It could be a joke against oneself of course.  I have plenty of those.

I was saving up my 'Milan Central arrest on my honeymoon' story for a later date but perhaps I can think of others to go on with.

[bobm]

Back in shops, there is a phrase uttered by assistants that irks me greatly, mainly because it is used when said assistant has something more interesting to do that serve you:-

"I'll be with you now, Sir".

Makes no sense at all. "I am with you now", "I will be with you soon", "I was with you then", even "Sod off, I'm ignoring you" all display logic. "I'll be with you now" - pah!

The one that really gets me is when me and my (female) partner walk into a shop and an assistant pounces with a cheery "Can I help you guys?"  On one occasion it was met with the quick riposte "You should have gone to Specsavers" followed by a 180 degree turn and a swift exit.

[TonyK]

"Can I have your name please?"

"But what will I use then?"