40 years in Brizzle means I can talk like what they doos in that areal if I gots to, usually if I scrages me knee while gert dappin. I struggled at first with the Irish Question as I began to visit "customers" in some of the housing estates. I would knock on the door, and as often as not it would be answered by a boy who could just reach the lock. I would ask "Is Miss X in?", and he would shout up the stairs "Where's Armagh?" Took me months to get that one, and answers like "'Suppinannuminnum"* didn't exactly help. I learned Latin more quickly.
Funny thing is though that from six months into my west country residency, even until after 20 years, if I visited my folks in Lancashire, I would get all the "Oo ar, 'ere 'e be" from my brothers, but could still talk to them in the vernacular, with my poor Bristol born wife having less clue about what was going on than when I spoke French. That was occasionally useful, mind.
After 12 years of semi-residence in Devon, I can do the basics, and know that it is definitely cream first. Now I'm permanently ensconced here, though, I have realised that Bishops Nympton's version of the Devon language is of little use once one finds oneself east of Rackenford. Back to the drawling board.
I remember the Speaker of the House of Commons George Thomas, later Viscount Tonypandy, dealing with an issue about accents in his lilting Welsh valley voice. Having found a reference from rugby legend and broadcaster Cliff Morgan, which I think is as correct as my recollection of my hearing of it on "Yesterday in Parliament" on Radio 4 long wave, I offer it to the House:
A member from Liverpool with a somewhat thick ‘scouse’ accent was speaking. A Scottish member complained he could not understand a word. Uproar broke out.
‘Order! Order!’ called the Speaker. Nothing. The uproar continued. Then, in the full majesty of office, he stood up – decreeing that everyone be silent. He glanced caustically around the chamber, eyes glaring.
‘There are many accents in this House,’ he said, reprovingly. ‘I only wish I had one myself.’
