Tickets Please !

[whole diary]

[Clan Line]

 

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[TaplowGreen]

 

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Ironic that train staff won't make much of an effort to move someone who is sitting in someone else's reserved seat, but will go to these lengths to detain someone sitting on a toilet seat!

[Chris from Nailsea]

Reminds me of a previous (long time ago) post on this forum: the Train Manager arrived at the front of a carriage and announced "Ticket check - please have your tickets, passes and excuses ready!" 

[Clan Line]

I posted the cutting at the start of this thread as it reminded me of an incident I witnessed in Kent about 15 years back. The train stopped at a quiet country station: before it had moved off, a young couple ran into my coach, from behind me, straight into the toilet (located right by the doors).
Once the train had moved off, the guard appeared,  looked up at the “engaged” sign, then did something in a panel alongside the doors. He then moved and stood out of sight of the toilet door. The instant the train stopped at the next station, the toilet door opened and the young man pushed the “open” button by the coach door – and he pushed it again, and again, and again…………the door would not open !  The guard then stepped into view with a very threatening  “tickets please”  -   Gotcha !!!
What made this incident so memorable was that the guard was an absolute dead ringer, in appearance (uniform excluded), manner and bearing for the Colour Sergeant in the film Zulu.

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[Chris from Nailsea]

Thanks, Clan Line. You've sent me off on one here. 

In that excellent film 'Zulu', the character of Colour Sergeant Frank Bourne was played by Nigel Green.  However, the actor was aged in his forties, whereas the actual Frank Bourne was age 24 at the overnight defence of the mission station at Rorke's Drift, Kwazulu Natal, South Africa, 22/23 January 1879.

He died on 8 May 1945 (somewhat ironically, VE day), as Lieutenant Colonel Frank Bourne, OBE, DCM.  An honorable military career. 

[Clan Line]

Thanks, Clan Line. You've sent me off on one here. 

In that excellent film 'Zulu', the character of Colour Sergeant Frank Bourne was played by Nigel Green.  However, the actor was aged in his forties, whereas the actual Frank Bourne was age 24 at the overnight defence of the mission station at Rorke's Drift, Kwazulu Natal, South Africa, 22/23 January 1879.

He died on 8 May 1945 (somewhat ironically, VE day), as Lieutenant Colonel Frank Bourne, OBE, DCM.  An honorable military career. 

Nigel Green was 6' 4", Bourne was nowhere near that - one source quotes him as being 5' 5". A diminutive figure like that would not have looked the part on film !!  (The actor Alan Ladd was also vertically challenged  (5' 6" ish) - this led to some amusing tales about his positioning in films to make him look much taller. He made a number of films with Veronica Lake who was 4' 11")

[johnneyw]

mission station at Rorke's Drift, Kwazulu Natal, South Africa, 22/23 January 1879.

Although the location for the film was actually many miles away in the Drakensberg Mountains, apparently because it was judged to be a more cinematic backdrop there.  The actual location of Rorke's Drift is considerably flatter and in any case had become something of a national monument.
One of my all time favourite films.

[UstiImmigrunt]

One to amuse you from the 90s.

We had an early turn Bristol to Newton Abbot, break then Paignton Exeter and travel back, basically all stops. We had a choice of places for a cooked breakfast with a pot of tea. On the way back we were booked in Dawlish Warren for several minutes so a fast could overtake.

I wandered back one particular morning to find the guard outside the toilet waiting for a fare dodger. So I used my carriage key to bang the door and stated that the driver needed to use the toilet and the train won't be going anywhere until I do.

Low and behold the door opened instantly. What a surprise!

[UstiImmigrunt]

 

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Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

[TaplowGreen]

 

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Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

Indeed.

They may well end up flushed with success.

[Clan Line]

Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

Oh yes !!

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[TaplowGreen]

Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

Oh yes !!

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Is it April 1 already?

[UstiImmigrunt]

Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

Oh yes !!

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Is it April 1 already?

Dear convicted terrorist,

Your rights regarding media exposure were instantly removed when the jury said one word.

And this is one of the many reasons why Britain is falling apart.

PS I bet the taxpayer were billed for her lawyer to point out the stress of a facial picture being published.

[UstiImmigrunt]

 

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Unfortunately those 2 fare dodgers could try it on for imprisonment and knowing how stupid UK^▸ (United Kingdom) law can be they'd end up with compensation.

Indeed.

They may well end up flushed with success.

Groan!

Don't give up the day job.

[UstiImmigrunt]

Another fare dodging story for you.

Wessex days, the last Cardiff to BTM^▸ (Bristol Temple Meads station (strictly, it should be BRI) but BTM is a commonly used alternative)). This was timed from Cardiff to Severn Tunnel on the relief lines but tonight it's booked along the up main.

Set slightly late off shed so it was load up and go. Unfortunately the guard and I had already clocked 4 characters with a dog who may cause problems.

Guard carries out a full ticket check and what a coincidence, the person with the tickets is in the toilet. And smoking.

So the plan is concuted...

Arrive at Newport with 4 or 5 minutes until departure so I shut down the engines. The guard announces that the driver won't be restarting the engines until 4 people alight. Which they do. I'd already tipped off the station staff. Off we go, a few minutes waiting at STJ^▸ (Severn Tunnel Junction railway station) and thanks from other passengers.

Meanwhile these 4 characters (scum) are determined to continue East so they board a freightliner train on platform one. The station staff make a call to Newport panel and the train is held at the next signal. The NR^» (Network Rail - home page) MOM^▸ (Mobile Operations Manager) then escorts the scum back to platform where thankfully onward transport was waiting, a couple of vehicles with blue flashing lights.

The following day when I booked on I was told by the management that said scum had been in Cardiff court that day for....

Drum Roll.




Rail fare evasion.