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Great Western Coffee Shop > Sideshoots - associated subjects > The Lighter Side > Slow news day, so..... punning headlines please.....
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Author Topic: Slow news day, so..... punning headlines please.....  (Read 3061 times)
JayMac
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« on: September 03, 2010, 13:02:30 »
Not much to report from FGW▸ (First Great Western) land today so I've cast the net a little wider with two vaguely rail related news items.

From the Daily Mail:

Quote
Two young goats that wandered onto the thin ledge of a 60ft railway bridge had to be rescued by a crane after two days high above a remote highway. The poor animals' plight was only discovered when a passing motorist contacted a local charity and alerted them to the situation. Rimrock Humane Society called the police, who then enlisted the help of a local coal mine to bring in a crane and pluck the animals to safety near Roundup, southern Montana.

The young female animals, weighing about 30lb each, mostly stayed on the angled ledge - even though there was a wider surface area on a pillar just a few feet away.

continues...

And from the BBC» (British Broadcasting Corporation - home page):

Quote
A lorry carrying breakfast cereal has collided with a railway bridge in Wiltshire, shedding its load into the road.

A Wiltshire Police spokesman said the Ready Brek which the vehicle was carrying is expected to take a while to clear up.

The crash happened on Wootton Bassett Road, heading into Swindon.

One lane of the road has been closed and drivers are being asked to find an alternative route if possible.

Now in the best traditions of tabloid journalism, let's see who can provide the best punning headlines for these stories.

 Wink
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"Good news for regular users of Euston Station in London! One day they will die. Then they won't have to go to Euston Station ever again." - David Mitchell
Chris from Nailsea
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« Reply #1 on: September 03, 2010, 18:10:23 »
Crane Helps Roundup Kids

 Roll Eyes
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William Huskisson MP▸ (Member of Parliament, or Mile Post (a method of measuring the railway in miles and chains from a starting point - usually London), depending on context) was the first person to be killed by a train while crossing the tracks, in 1830.  Many more have died in the same way since then.  Don't take a chance: Stop, Look, Listen.

"Level crossings are safe, unless they are used in an unsafe manner."  Discuss.
JayMac
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« Reply #2 on: September 03, 2010, 18:15:25 »
Not a headline, but I thought:

A police spokesmen said, "Wiltshire folk are being asked to find an alternative breakfast cereal, or come along to to Wootton Basset Road with some hot milk and a spoon!"

 Grin
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"Good news for regular users of Euston Station in London! One day they will die. Then they won't have to go to Euston Station ever again." - David Mitchell
bigdaz
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« Reply #3 on: September 03, 2010, 19:29:02 »
First one:

Heidi hole round up gets on my goat!



Second one:

First portion of this cereal report...
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caliwag
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« Reply #4 on: September 03, 2010, 19:42:06 »
Haha...on the XC▸ (Cross Country Trains (franchise)) from Plymouth to York the other day (OK I'd rather go via KGX to stretch the legs, and have beer in the Bree Louise), but we stopped just shy of Tamworth because of "a swan on the line...a protected species". Driver set off to wave it away...marvellous...just like the old railway.
Said conductor...a fine fella, came through after Tamworth..."any tickets from Tamworth? anyone lost a swan?" well it made me laugh. Grin
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JayMac
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« Reply #5 on: September 03, 2010, 19:57:42 »
Bleedin' Swans! Surprising how often they cause problems on the rail network. This ain't the first time I've redirected to this post:

http://www.firstgreatwestern.info/coffeeshop/index.php?topic=6821.msg67780#msg67780

Brenda* ought to sort out her flock!  Grin




*Her Majesty Queen Elizebeth II, so called by Private Eye.
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"Good news for regular users of Euston Station in London! One day they will die. Then they won't have to go to Euston Station ever again." - David Mitchell
Phil
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« Reply #6 on: September 03, 2010, 20:19:50 »
1. Thankyou, I'll get my goat

2. Cereal story (abridged)
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johoare
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« Reply #7 on: September 03, 2010, 23:36:21 »
Quote from: caliwag on September 03, 2010, 19:42:06
Haha...oOK I'd rather go via KGX to stretch the legs, and have beer in the Bree Louise

But the Bree Louise is just outside Euston? Which although not a million miles from Kings Cross, is also further away than a lot of other places?  Smiley
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caliwag
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« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2010, 10:49:04 »
Ah, but as a CAMRA member I get 50p off each pint, which brings the price of a beer sensibly back to Northern prices...well York anyway...sorry no pun! Cool
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