You know when you travel by train too often when.....

[whole diary]

[inspector_blakey]

I have a friend who refers to single-lane traffic through roadworks as "single-line working"...

[JayMac]

... you register a new phone number and think it's easy to remember because it finishes with 153

I've just realised that my mobile number is rather appropriate to the stock normally used on my local line, ending as it does in 143!

[paul7575]

How about mowing the lawn in green zone conditions...   

Paul

[inspector_blakey]

Far more exciting to do it in a red zone. As long as you have appropriate lookouts and warning systems in place, of course.

[smokey]

When you are traveling on a Thames Turbo, and you can tell It's wider inside than a 153, 158, or HST^▸ (High Speed Train (Inter City class 43 125 units)).   

NO: It's NOT a TARDIS, then it would have to be Wider on the Inside than the outside, but then IF the Boffins could build a Tardis Train, sure could solve overcrowding. 

[6 OF 2 redundant adjunct of unimatrix 01]

When you are traveling on a Thames Turbo, and you can tell It's wider inside than a 153, 158, or HST^▸ (High Speed Train (Inter City class 43 125 units)).   

NO: It's NOT a TARDIS, then it would have to be Wider on the Inside than the outside, but then IF the Boffins could build a Tardis Train, sure could solve overcrowding. 

they could channel any residual artron energy into the breaking system similar to the method used on the class 390 ........ you know you watch too much doctor who when....................

[Btline]

When you know the name of the man/Digital Doris doing the announcements.

When you know what the bell codes ringing at the station mean (i.e. what signal box they're from) and can thus amaze other passengers by getting up just as the right train pulls in.

When you see platform staff get promoted to a guard and then an RPI^▸ (Revenue Protection Inspector, or Retail Price Index, depending on context) (in the meantime, in your long years of commuting, you're the same... )

[eightf48544]

When yopu are Platform 4 at Slough and the signal on the Down Relief starts flashing yellow and the Down Main signal is Red you know the next train is not going to stop at Burnham or Taplow.

[JayMac]

....you're on Platform 4 at Reading and you know that your train is the fourth or fifth one in the queue. CIS^▸ (Customer Information System) only does 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

[bobm]

...and when standing on platform 4 at Reading you know the exact point when Phil Sayer will start to say "The train now approaching Platform 4 is the....."

[JayMac]

• You know the Wessex Trains safety briefing by memory: "Welcome aboard, please listen to the following announcement for your safety.  Please familiarise yourself with the safety information displayed on posters located in the passenger saloons.  Emergency door opening procedures are indicated close to the doors.  Please ensure any luggage in the overhead racks in safely stowed.  And when you leave the train, please mind the gap between the train and the platform edge, and take care as you alight.  Thank you".

So, it's not just me then? I find myself mouthing along to that safety briefing all the time on trains to/from the Severn Beach Line.... and I've often said, "and thank you" out loud in response!

[James Vertigan]

A few from me:

• When someone says the train/bus/whatever departs at 9 o'clock, you correct them with "the oh-nine-hundred hour service", which must be spoken like Phil Sayer

Wot, you mean like this bloke...? http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=LZw3nnbQf-4#t=23s 

[6 OF 2 redundant adjunct of unimatrix 01]

i really thought he was just mouthing the words until the mistake

[Brucey]

This guy really is good (the one in the blue jumper in the Lizardskin video)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuBdlJlv-tk

[Btline]